Men can play a crucial role in fighting domestic violence by showing they are interested in the problem and speaking up in the face of abuse, according to American activist Rus Ervin Funk.
If we can move those men – first to the sidelines and then into the game – that’s when we’re going to start preventing domestic violence
“You don’t have to change your life. When you’re with a group of men at the bar and one of them makes a joke that you find disgusting, that’s an opportunity to challenge that behaviour. Confronting those types of comments can have a tremendous ripple effect,” the 48-year-old social worker said.
Mr Funk argues that women’s organisations should strategically pick interested men and ask them to help. These men could help by simply wearing the white ribbon against domestic violence or by being good role models to younger males.
Holding a copy of The Times, Mr Funk referred to the Government’s plans to review the school discipline code. This, he said, was a golden opportunity to ensure that dating abuse was included.
“If you want young people to engage in respectful relationships, it has to be part of the code in schools where they spend large portions of their time,” he said, adding that research in the UK showed that rates of dating abuse were the same in co-ed and same-gender schools.
Mr Funk is the executive director at Mens Work, an organisation aimed at eliminating violence against women. He is in Malta on the invitation of the US Embassy, the National Council of Women and the Malta Confederation of Women’s Organisations and will be conducting a workshop themed Engaging And Mobilising Men To End Violence Against Women.
Like childcare and breast cancer, domestic violence has been defined as a women’s issue and men have remained on the outskirts.
But why do men need to be asked in?
Mr Funk said one must not underestimate society’s expectations from men. As children, boys often got bullied because they were friends with girls and now they were being asked to be champions for women and shed the “macho” image.
Men were expected to defend a woman being beaten up but had no clue what to do when she was being verbally insulted, he said.
“Every piece of evidence suggests domestic violence can be significantly reduced if men get more heavily involved. Using athletic jargon: there are a significant amount of men in the stands, praising and cheering women on.
“If we can move those men – first to the sidelines and then into the game – that’s when we’re going to start preventing domestic violence,” he said.