Business clichés have been with us for as long as business schools have been in existence. Management gurus usually coin phrases that capture the attention of the media and business people in search of the Holy Grail of success. This jargon is initially tolerated but like everything else that is overused it eventually becomes stale and infuriates linguists who like to keep communication short and simple.
The UK business magazine Marketing asked Michael Sugden, a London-based manager of an advertising agency, to compile a list of the 10 phrases that ‘anger people most’. His first finding was that “in recent years the use of marketing clichés, metaphors and analogies has ballooned. For purveyors of ‘meeting bingo’ this is only good news. For the rest of us, meetings have degenerated in to a quagmire of nonsensical verbal piffle”.
Inevitably, these marketing phrases are quickly picked up by other management practitioners and the result is often “miscommunication, misunderstanding, and ultimately, mistakes that lead to poor productivity”.
So let us have a quick look at some of the hated phrases that made it to Sugden’s top 10 list.
The number one phrase that annoys most people is ‘growth hacking’. This phrase refers to “a marketing technique developed by technology startups which use creativity, analytical thinking and social metrics to sell products and gain exposure”. Growth at all costs seems to have become an obsession, not just with technology companies, but also with politicians and business leaders who are just interested in short-term gain even if this is achieved at the cost of long-term sustainability.
Another phrase that made it to the number two ranking in the Sugden list is ‘fail forward’. First coined by a US author of a business book it refers to “the ethos of learning from failure”. Of course, most people have been learning from past mistakes and failures from time immemorial, but why someone had to coin such an ugly phrase to describe this human experience baffles me. One thing is certain: John C. Maxwell, the author of the book Failing Forward: How to Make the Most of Your Mistakes, has sold many copies of his book thanks to his irritating phrase.
‘Let us socialise this’ is another hated business phrase that baffles anyone who tries to understand its meaning without some research.
We use these phrases to make the obvious and straightforward sound cerebral and exciting
It means “to ask a person or group to gain consensus, agreement, or understanding of a document or idea among a number of people”. Apparently, this phrase originated in the education profession but is now frequently used in business communication.
My own most hated phrase is ‘let’s workshop this’ which simply means ‘having a long meeting’. Long meetings are the things I hate most, even if they are sometimes necessary. I have learnt from experience that after a couple of hours sitting and participating in discussions, however interesting they may be, one is exhausted physically and mentally and very little is achieved by dragging meetings on for long hours. There are many, of course, who feel more important in the eyes of their friends when they claim that they regularly attend whole day meetings because of the onerous responsibilities linked to their jobs.
‘Level playing field’ is yet another irritating phrase that has become so hackneyed not only in business but also political communication. It is used to describe “a situation in which everyone has the same chance of succeeding”. The Italians use a more elegant phrase: par condicio which means “the right to speak for an equal length of time as one’s opponents” – not quite the same meaning but certainly less irritating.
‘Let’s not boil the ocean’ borders on the hilarious. It means to “waste one’s time attempting to do the impossible”. A friend of mine told me that he knows few politicians who indulge in boiling the ocean because most of them are not even capable of doing small simple things right!
Self-important office workers are now frequently using the phrase ‘I may have a window for you’ to show they have a small gap in their busy diaries.
Sugden says: “We use these phrases to make the obvious and straightforward sound cerebral and exciting.” Only a psychologist can explain what stimulates our subconscious to communicate in this awkward way.
To savour some more of these hated phrases one needs to watch the BBC’s comedy The Office where David Brent is guaranteed to upset those who like keeping communication short and simple.
johncassarwhite@yahoo.com