Charmaine thought she would never be able to hit someone since, throughout her abusive marriage, she was made to suppress her anger rather than express it.

I want to feel my anger. It was a part of me that was not allowed to exist before

So when her self-defence instructor asked her to hit back, she could not bring herself to do so.

“I was never allowed to feel my anger. Now, suddenly, I had to hit someone who had done nothing to me. I was then asked to think back to those moments of abuse and I started feeling the anger.

“I managed to hit back, though softly. I want to feel my anger. It was a part of me that was not allowed to exist before. Now I’m regaining control. It makes me feel safe,” she said.

Charmaine, who preferred not to reveal her surname, was one of the people who attended self-defence classes organised yesterday to raise funds for Soar, the new support group set up by victims and survivors of domestic violence.

The support group, set up with the assistance of the St Jeanne Antide Foundation (a registered NGO), aims to help victims move on and rebuild the life skills and self-assertiveness they could have lost during a traumatic experience.

Elaine Compagno, a former victim who is coordinating the group, said self defence had an obvious link with domestic violence.

However, one had to think of self defence as standing up for oneself – without necessarily hitting anyone.

“You don’t necessarily need to fight physically, but you need to fight to take back the control over your life that someone has taken from you. When you are in an abusive relationship you would have given up that control without realising it,” Ms Compagno said.

Joseph Debono, head instructor at the Wing Tsun self defence academy in Mosta – where yesterday’s fundraiser was held – said many of his clients had suffered some form of abuse and wanted to ensure they were not victimised again.

A 2010 study on the prevalence of domestic violence in Malta showed that a quarter of women were physically, emotionally or sexually abused by their husband or partner.

Mr Debono said the discipline of self-defence strengthened a person both physically and mentally since feeling safe allowed people to gain all-round confidence.

“I believe that everyone can stand up for themselves. It’s often about showing the attacker that you are capable of doing so,” he said.

Charmaine said it was important to know you are able to fight back.

“My instinct was also ‘flight’ and not ‘fight’. I used to always run away when it got violent. People like me, in that situation, lack the ability to fight. Knowing that I can stand up for myself, without running away, makes me feel stronger,” she said.

Those wishing to contact Soar can send an e-mail to soarmalta@gmail.com, find Soar Malta on Facebook or call the foundation on 2180 8981.