Back in the days when dad wore a Clark Gable side-parting without irony and looked impossibly young to be a father, and mum was in love with Cliff Richard, school provided all the drama and spectacle-shattering adventure that a little, fat, bespectacled kid (like me) needed.

School was a magical mystery tour of learning and the teacher was the all-knowing guide. She really did know it all, including all the tables and the really difficult bits from Id-Denfil. And she also had eyes in the back of her head.

Come lunch break, the playground was a heaven and hell scenario. On the good side, the elderly caretaker led the flock of the faithful to the land of MMU strawberry milk and honey (the only blonde girl in school, with whom we were all in love in such a desperate, yet so uncomplicated way).

Across the metaphorical border, bullies accessorised in rapper chains made of chewing gum foil shuffled along the horizon, promising horrible injuries with sharpened pencils and dark revenge in obscure corners of the playground.

And when we nerds managed to escape the Bash Street Kids, we used to make celebratory trips to the tuck shop where we would proceed to spend our hard-fought-for pocket money on getting the kind of blood sugar levels that would keep us awake for a week.

So yes, our education was covered. But there was one thing missing – technology. We never had our mobile phones confiscated because they hadn’t even been invented yet. Computers were something which put man on the moon. And the classroom was still a Mexican vista of swirling chalk dust riding the airwaves.

The only piece of technology we had was a huge, hunchbacked television which was only turned on when both the teacher and the supply teacher were down with the flu or as a Friday afternoon treat. And anyway, treat is such a big word when the only films we watched were black and white wartime footage, the ones where men in greatcoats walk very fast and engage in war and death.

Fast-forward some two decades later – schools have changed and education is in another category. And it is all down to technology – students can download whole libraries at the touch of a button, long hours of library research have been translated into a quick Google search, and e-learning platforms have made learning accessible to all but the hard-headed.

The most difficult of subjects have been made more approachable. And there’s an app for everything – I even downloaded an app for The Waste Land that helps uncover the poem’s endless layers of interpretation.

There’s just one thing that hasn’t changed – you still need an ounce of grey matter to get good grades. So don’t expect technology to sit for your exams.

techeditor@timesofmalta.com