The good news is that scientists are to create the world’s first simulation of the human brain, using the most powerful computer ever built.
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away- Robert Orben, comedy writer
Funded by the EU, the Human Brain Project will give insights into neurological diseases and will allow scientists to observe the brain at every level, right down to the behaviour of single neurons.
Leading the project is Professor Henry Markram, head of the neural micro-circuitry laboratory at the Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne, Switzerland. According to Professor Markram, the project will be able to capture the complexity of the brain.
And there, nestled in that mollusc of good news, is a mutineering, worthless pearl of bad news – because the success of the Human Brain Project depends on the kind of brain that will be simulated. And if they choose the brain belonging to the driver picking his nose (or is he trying to jolt his brain into action?) in the lane parallel to mine, then we’re in deep trouble.
It’s not the picking of the nose that does it – rather, it’s the lane-switching without using an indicator, the misspelt windscreen aphorism, the bass-thumping music quaking at seven in the morning, the fiddling with the mobile while driving, and the sheer disrespect to the humanity surrounding him. The man is a walking ASBO and his brain is as complex as a watering can – it holds water, but pours it out.
More commuting incidents this week. Let’s start with a premise – I don’t have the delicacy of skin of a 16-year-old (I don’t have anything in common with a 16-year-old, except the rare use of public transport). Which makes the appearance of a heat blister on my index finger surprising.
And that’s not courtesy of a Saturday morning of DIY-ing. Rather, it mushrooms up after three hours of solid gaming on my new tablet during a four hour flight.
But panic not – the solution is right there, in the palm of my hands. The first health app I find is Cardiograph, which measures my heart rate – for my ailment, it would be like fixing a puncture using ice cream. The second app is called Daily Leg Workout – good for deep vein thrombosis, but not for a blistered finger. The Everyday First Aid app looks promising – until my attempt of performing CPR on my finger draws very strange looks from the other passengers.
Turns out that all I need is a bit of sticking plaster, which a kind purser fetches for me. Blister tucked in, and I can keep on playing.
techeditor@timesofmalta.com