When I was young, which was not exactly hundreds of years ago, if you were bullied, you were mostly expected to not make a huge deal about it and get over it. The bully might be reprimanded and, if you were lucky, you might even get a letter of apology which, of course, didn’t really mean anything because they would probably be back at it a day or two later.

I remember one girl who was so affected by the way that she was treated that she ended up changing schools but, all in all, society acted like being harassed daily was an integral part of growing up and a character-building experience.

Even back then, I found this attitude disgusting. However, I have a bigger problem with the fact that decades of education and awareness campaigns later, our attitudes when it comes to bullying remain very problematic.

As I write this, reports are coming in that a 12-year-old girl chased a fellow student with a butter knife that she stole from the school’s kitchenette and, apart from the fact that that act in itself could have had horrible consequences, I can’t help but wonder what the aftermath of such an incident is going to be.

What makes all this even worse is that an anonymous source from the school has also been quoted as saying that this is not the first time this particular student has caused trouble.

Now, although I don’t know the particulars of this case, what that specific line tells me is that, for some reason or another, this troubled student has not been given either the support to change or enough reason to be deterred from acting in this particular way. And, if we can’t help 12-year-old girls to be better, then we have most definitely failed as a society.

How we allow our children to be treated will not just affect who they are today but could also change who they will be forever- Anna Marie Galea

This kind of behaviour should not only not be overlooked but it also needs to be examined properly. This isn’t a question of turning things into a witch-hunt or placing blame as I have already seen happening all over social media. What needs to be done is to have the right people contacted to perhaps sit with the perpetrator and understand what is going on in her mind. These things seldom just spring from nowhere and, instead of a lot of panic and empty gestures, issues need to be tackled at their root.

The victim too needs to be given support and also reassurance that her feelings matter in this. There have been too many cases of people being asked to put their feelings aside and slog on and it has been shown to have very damaging long-term effects. Everyone deserves to feel safe at school.

Ultimately, we can’t stop terrifying events like this from happening but we can make sure that we tackle them a lot better than we have in the past and that does mean giving educators better training and support in such matters instead of just ignoring things till the next “big incident” happens. How we allow our children to be treated will not just affect who they are today but could also change who they will be forever. Not all abuse leaves bruises.