The tabernacle at St Simon chapel, Kastell Qannotta, Wardija. Courtesy of Mr and Mrs L. J. Sant Cassia.I’ve always been fascinated by the image of the pelican found on some church tabernacles. A mature mother pelican watches over her chicks, pecking her chest to draw out blood to feed them in times of hunger. In medieval times, this was a popular image for the offering of Christ in the Eucharist. St Thomas Aquinas refers to Jesus as “Pie Pelicane, Jesu Domine (Lord Jesus, Good Pelican) in his prayer Adoro te devote.
Most Catholics have been inculcated not only with the idea of Christ’s complete self-giving and sacrifice, but also with a deep sense of trying to do the same with their life. Giving to the point of self-immolation was at times lauded as pious, and many Christians were caught up in a vicious cycle of giving so much of themselves that they burned out completely.
We need to really check how much we give of ourselves. On one extreme, self-absorption, selfishness, and a sole focus on self-fulfilment could easily lead us to become self-centred and vain.
But I sense that more struggle with the other extreme of giving too much. I know of priests who give so much of themselves that they find their hearts depleted; parents who have laid out their lives for their children only to feel used and spent; people who have given so much to their careers and come to retirement with resentment; persons who feel obliged to always give and give, and now function robotically through life as if through a persistent state of burnout. For some of these, the Christian injunction to “give until it hurts”, has come to a point that they can give no more.
Become a gift for others. But also, take care of yourself, your energies. Respect your age. Pray. Nurture the sources of your renewal
How do we juxtapose the classic image of the Eucharistic Pelican with a genuine care of ourselves and still be generous? If we are called to give so much of ourselves, where do we get to find the places where our hearts are renewed, our souls rested, and our bodies recharged?
Sometimes in life we have no choice but to step up and respond with a lot of giving, giving and giving. Ask this of those taking care of frail elderly parents, the terminally ill, parents of children with special needs, and others grappling with acute crises. Such situations often lead to extreme exhaustion, professional career burnout, and most worryingly, the loss of joy.
While followers of Jesus should aspire to the pelican-like icon of total self-gift to others they should bear in mind that no one gives of what they do not have. Real giving, like that of Jesus, assumes a solid sense of self.
Before urging people to cut more into their own flesh to keep giving and giving, Christians also need to nurture healthy self-care. The Christian community is uniquely placed to celebrate the Eucharist not only as Christ’s supreme sacrifice, but as the gift of the community that takes care of each other and to not ask the impossible from everyone.
This year, give with all your heart. Become a gift for others. But also, take care of yourself, your energies. Respect your age. Pray. Nurture the sources of your renewal. Connect with people who mirror your journey truthfully. Become friends with silence.
Nurture your generosity, but also respect the quiet spaces and relationships in which it is leavened. A full heart will then truly give with joy.