The Times of Malta published a news story by the AFP news agency (January 13) which reported on the French nation’s shock at the suicide of Lucas, a 13-year-old boy who was the victim of homophobic bullying.
The boy had reached the end of his tether – he could no longer take any more homophobic insults. A boy who was being psychologically tortured because he was feeling different and because he might have dared to speak out about it.
He was different from what many call the norm.
The norm – the box we have created in our limited minds to be able to cope with the awesomeness of nature, of the world we live in, of the immense diversity of human nature.
As human beings, we are so small, so finite, so afraid of what is different that we go to the other extreme of wanting everyone to fit into the boxes we have created and marked with specific and limiting words and concepts.
We are afraid of acknowledging that we are not all-knowing and that there is so much knowledge in this advanced world of technology, science, medicine and anthropology, besides other academic fields, that we have no inkling of – we do not know, or we do not know enough or we do not want to know at all.
And that is where we fail each other as human beings. We fail when we refuse to accept the diversity that exists around us, when we bury facts to keep people ignorant and controllable, when we want power to remain in the hands of a few so that we can dominate others.
In this scenario, homophobia comes into play. And not only homophobia but all other types of phobias or, rather, intolerances. Intolerance of people who are different – whose sexuality or gender is diverse, whose skin colour or religion is different to ours, of those whom we consider weaker than us (or so we think) like women, disabled persons, pensioners and others.
We make ourselves gods, looking down on others who are not like us and thinking that we have the licence to make their lives miserable with hateful speech and actions. And we use this repeatedly, day after day, revelling in the fact that we have the upper hand, that we can see them breaking down, that we will get rid of all those that do not fit in the box.
So, when no action is taken by the authorities, by governments, institutions and businesses, then these actions become a licence to kill. Perhaps we do not brandish the weapon that kills those whom we deplore, those whom we do not accept in our society, but we have still brandished a weapon.
We have used our hatred, our wagging tongue and, sometimes, even our bare hands and fists to make the lives of others so miserable and unliveable that they resort to taking their own life, to commit suicide.
Accepting diversity is the only way forward, it shows our will to live together in harmony- Louisa Grech
Suicide does not just take a person’s life, it also destroys the lives of all those who have loved them and cared for them, those who, in spite of the challenges imposed by society, embraced them with a love that transcends all obstacles – their family, their friends, their companions in life.
Suicide destroys the heart of society; it demeans the whole community because it did nothing in all its power to stop this happening. Why? Is it because we are alienated, because we do not want to be involved, because we believe they deserve what they are getting? Why? Do we not realise that the blood of this suicide victim is on our hands?
Although such events are not reported in the Maltese media, we know only too well that suicides happen here too. We do not put a face to the tragedy. Regardless, the families of these victims are utterly broken to the very core of their being.
The community they live in will be shredding them like paper with the gossip going round all the village or town and beyond, spreading like wildfire and causing a sensation that should actually make us stop and think “What part did I have in all of this?”
As a nation, we have to work harder towards eradicating bullying. Bullying is a scourge, a dark blot on society. We have to change a mindset. We have to set good examples through the way we speak, the way we act or react. Even our body language speaks volumes.
Accepting diversity is the only way forward, it shows our will to live together in harmony, embracing people just as they are, walking together to make everyone’s life journey one that is joyful and peaceful.
Let’s say no to intolerance. Let us work together against all forms of intolerance and help each other to truly embrace diversity and inclusion.
Louisa Grech is the coordinator of Drachma Parents. Drachma Parents can be contacted on parents@drachma.mt / 9945 4581. Drachma LGBTI can be contacted on admin@drachma.mt/7925 3875.