Europe endures England’s El Crappico

Well, that’s 97 minutes of our lives none of us are getting back!

Without exaggeration, I don’t think I have seen a more dull and uninspiring European cup final than last Wednesday’s... and there have been plenty of underwhelming and downright mediocre finals over the decades.

Given the fact that this was a clash between the two worst teams in the Premier League – aside from the relegated trio – there was always a chance it wouldn’t be a classic. But I doubt anyone, even working on a worst-case scenario, thought it would be as bad as it was.

Both teams needed the trophy to add a small silver lining to a very cloudy season, with their respective manager’s jobs under serious doubt. And

I hoped this would lead to a blood-and-thunder, passionate, winner-takes-all, attacking frenzy.

It’s safe to say it didn’t.

I found myself hoping and praying over the last 20 minutes that Manchester United wouldn’t find an equaliser, not because I was supporting Tottenham Hotspur, but purely because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to endure another 30 minutes of utter tripe.

And I am sure I wasn’t alone, with viewers all over Europe praying to be put out of their misery; the ones that were still awake, that is.

Maybe the uninspiring display was down the fact that this was the only way either team could rescue their seasons. Possibly the pressure and nerves took over as collective desperation kicked in. Maybe Manchester United got complacent, having put in a decent display in the semi-final. Possibly the unexpectedly defensive tactics Spurs deployed left all 22 players a bit confused.

But probably it was just the very simple fact that this was a crucial football match involving two teams who aren’t - at this moment in time – very good at playing football.

I am pretty sure at half-time the UEFA bigwigs were flicking through the rule book trying to find a subclause allowing them not to award the winners a Champions League slot next season because, frankly, it’s hard to justify giving either team such a lucrative prize based on that display.

As we all know, it was ultimately Spurs who triumphed, with a single, scrappy goal which is about all this game deserved. And winning their first trophy in 17 years has probably bought Ange Postecoglou at least another week in the job.

But I think it’s safe to say that this was an infinitely forgettable final in every way imaginable. I almost wish I’d watched Love Island instead.

Almost.

I found myself praying United wouldn’t find an equaliser, because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to endure another 30 minutes of utter tripe

Lots to play for on final day

This afternoon’s final Premier League fixtures might actually be exciting, and it’s not very often that happens.

Normally as we enter the last 90 minutes of the season there is little to play for, with all the major decision having long been settled.

Okay, fair enough, the title and the relegation slots were sorted out a while back. And those are always the most important things in any season.

But the fact that we have five teams fighting it out for the three remaining Champions League slots should certainly add a dash of spice to these final few minutes of the domestic season.

Chelsea, Nottingham Forest, Aston Villa, Newcastle United and Manchester City are all hoping to book their place in Europe’s premier competition and, unlike the winners of Wednesday’s Europa League final, you can find a justifiable argument for any of them to be involved in next season’s Champions League.

So, which three will make it? City only need a point and should get it away to Fulham, while I suspect Newcastle will beat a nothing-to-play-for Everton side and take slot two.

That leaves the other three fighting it out for the final place, which is almost entirely unpredictable at this point. Villa travel to an emotionally deflated Manchester United and could either win at a canter or face an (unlikely) United backlash.

Meanwhile, Forest and Chelsea face each other in what could be, depending on how things go elsewhere, their own little cup final with a Champions League place at stake.

Like last Wednesday’s game, in fact, only hopefully with some actual football on display this time.

A final day with things to play for. Let’s enjoy it.

200 and out

Nobody does round numbers like Jamie Vardy.

The Leicester City legend played his final match for the club last weekend after a staggering 13 years. During that time he helped guide them to two promotions, an FA Cup triumph and that infamous Premier League title.

His final appearance happened to be game number 500 for the Foxes and, in true fairytale fashion, he scored his 200th goal for the club. How’s that for rounding things off?

The Vardy story is, of course, truly rags to riches. In 2012, he was playing non-league football for Fleetwood Town when Leicester took a £1 million gamble on a player who, at 25, was hardly a young prospect.

However, looking back now, I think it’s fair to say the gamble paid off handsomely.

The striker, whose rags-to-riches story also included 26 England caps, has vowed to play on, and even believes he still has what it takes to turn out in the Premier League.

And you know what, I don’t entirely disagree with that. He may be 38, which is no spring chicken in footballing terms, but he still managed to score 10 top-flight goals this season despite playing for one of the worst teams in Premiership history.

There is a little life left in the old legs.

Grounds for appeal

Goodison Park has been saved.

As a fan of football heritage and tradition, I was surprisingly pleased to hear that the historic old ground isn’t going to be redeveloped but will instead become the home of Everton’s women’s team. It’s actually a cunning move by the club’s new American owners for a few reasons.

Firstly, it sends out a signal to the football world that these guys have serious money and are not scared of using it. The financial opportunity cost of keeping the plot as a stadium rather than commercially exploiting it must be huge.

It also shows belief and support for the women’s game at a time when doing so is trendy. Yes, their women’s team may currently be playing in front of crowds of around 2,000, but that number will shoot up with Goodison Park as their home ground.

More important than either of those things, is it shows the fans that, as new unknown owners, they are fully aware of the club’s heritage and legacy.

A clever play all round.

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