Feat of clay

Florentyna Kane was the first female American President. She was elected by the smallest margin in American history, a mere one per cent, 105,000 votes, over her rival, a total even smaller than the 118,000 that John F. Kennedy had obtained over Richard Nixon back in 1960.

This having 'happened' in a Jeffrey Archer novel, it is par for the course that even as Madame President makes her inaugural speech, a plot was being hatched by a senator and his henchmen to silence her forever.

Of course, politicians accuse some journalists of saving their talent for writing and their genius for expenses. But one thing is sure: not all writers do politics well, and, as a corollary, not all politicians write well. Especially when elections seem to be the in thing the world over.

Our television and radio stations, as well as our print media, get sporadic saturations of print, because our politicians fancy themselves as writers, and alas, sometimes the opposite also applies. Some people think they have a sacrosanct right as well as a divine duty to keep us informed of what their party is doing right, unto the finest detail, while highlighting all the blots in the copybooks of 'the other side'.

The airwaves and the print media are inundated with pseudo-patriotic drivel by those who manage to get airtime and column space - which ironically may not be a bad thing, since sometimes it backfires on the personalities themselves.

Meanwhile, ironically, at least one medium is trying to gag its staff from doing what is part and parcel of the job of a commentator, columnist, and journalist - commenting on the country's status quo. Even those of us who are not members of the Institute of Journalists think that this is weird and irrational.

The Broadcasting Authority, of course, felt it ought to send a circular regarding programming and advertorial material to be broadcast during the hallowed period from February 11 to March 8. The terms apply not only to broadcast media, but also to independent production houses... although we all know that ignorance of the 'law' is no excuse.

In any case, I note with pleasure that even this excuse has been pre-empted, because parts of the circular read as follows (emphasis mine):

"Not later than noon of Monday, February 11, each broadcasting station shall provide the authority with a detailed schedule of programmes and advertisements for the authority's approval... Where the broadcasting station intends to produce... programmes which include guests who air opinions... during the aforesaid period, it shall forward the subject of that programme and details of the participants in that programme... to the authority for its approval. The said information shall be submitted for other programme genres in which candidates participate... Following the authority's approval of this programme schedule, no changes may be made by a broadcasting station to the said schedule."

There is, of course, the obligatory loophole: "Exceptionally, with the prior approval of the authority and following a written detailed request by a broadcasting station to that effect, a broadcasting station may request the authority's approval to change its programme schedule. Such request must reach the authority by not later than seven working days prior to the date of the proposed change and shall be drawn up in terms of the attached form... [but] the Authority will not approve changes for the period March 3 to 6."

What is of particular interest is the dire warning that since time is at a premium, there will be no time for admonitions; the fines imposed will not be a simple slap on the wrist, either; fines not exceeding €34,940 (Lm14,999.74, how quaint!) will be levied on anyone "proved" to have broken the conditions set out in the circular.

My brand of patriotism takes a different tack; I am mostly concerned with promoting Malta and the Maltese abroad - and some people find this difficult to comprehend. That is why, for instance, I am following with delight young Valentina Rossi, whose stint in Roman Mysteries II has now come to an end. The young lady had this to say: "As I write, the film is being edited; hopefully it will be screened between April and May. The filming - in Malta and Bulgaria - took us about 20 weeks; and as you can tell from the title it involved lots of Roman costumes.

"The directors of the film were very kind and helpful with the entire cast - they were so pleased with my performance! It was of great pleasure to work with them, and, besides, I made lots of new friends."

Costumes galore, of a different kind, were literally all over the Mdina bastions last Sunday, during the filming of the climactic scenes of Mirjana Coljerò, the latest Mark Doneo production - who had to surpass himself after the stock-car race scene in Solitaire. Tourists who happened to be there assumed that this was some kind of historical re-enactment by the Ministry of Tourism, so professional was the set-up; this was a bonus they never expected, and cameras were clicking left, right, and centre.

The wrong (and sometimes silly) replies that phone-ins allow callers to give to simple questions have been taken to new lows. One company specialising in the sales of telecommunications equipment has a man replying to three different questions by giving three answers totally unrelated to the material at hand. He then goes on to grab a prize.

Another ridiculous type of advert is when there is a pseudo-conversation by two people, one of whom does not know anything about the product but, at the end of the other's spiel, is wise enough to give us, the listeners, a slogan about the product. One would think that the aforementioned politicians would give their eyeteeth for this kind of persuasive power.

television@timesofmalta.com