Last Christmas, Mario Jansen finished work and went straight back to his apartment in St Paul’s Bay. Alone, he sat on his sofa, cracked open a can of beer and took a shot of heroin.
This Christmas, Mario is celebrating 11 months of being sober and clean.
“Heroin used to numb my pain and sorrows, but I don’t want to be like that anymore. I push myself to get out of that dark and lonely place. It’s all part of my recovery,” he said.
The Belgian did a recovery programme in his country a few years ago but relapsed and struggled to put an end to his addictions.
After living in Malta for nine years, he plucked up the courage to start a rehabilitation programme with Caritas and is slowly integrating back into society.
At 43, he can say he is happy, as he works towards being a better version of himself.
“I feel so good. I don’t have to get high or disastrously drunk. Caritas has helped me greatly to confront my problems and to be better.”
Jansen started experimenting with drugs at just 14. “I had a difficult childhood. I fought a lot with my parents growing up. They sent me from one home to another, but I kept running away.
“I never felt accepted by my parents, so I started to mix with the wrong crowd, older kids who started drinking and taking drugs.”
After a recovery programme in Belgium, he only lasted three days before turning to drugs again.
I would look in the mirror and ask myself, why? Why are you doing this to yourself? You can do better. That is why I reached out
He settled in Malta hoping it would end his drug cravings. It didn’t work.
“I was working and paying for my apartment, but I started playing with my recovery again and began drinking,” he recalled.
“Unfortunately, my seven-year relationship ended at around the same time as COVID hit the island. I felt lonely and depressed and wanted to numb that feeling.
“I would look in the mirror and ask myself, why? Why are you doing this to yourself? You can do better. That is why I reached out.”
After hitting ‘rock-bottom’ at the beginning of this year, he left his apartment and all his belongings to start afresh.
“I needed to change my life. I was searching for happiness. Caritas have helped me open my eyes and taught me how to face my challenges.”
He is now proud to be sober and moving on. He hopes to work with a kayak company in summer and has started lessons for his driving licence.
“As an ex-junkie it can be difficult to trust people, but I have good moments. Sometimes I do find it hard to connect with people, especially now when everyone is on a tablet or mobile. But I have made friends with clean and positive people too, who help me get out of my comfort zone.”
His advice for those with similar struggles during the festive season?
“There are helplines and people who want to help. I know it’s hard to reach out, but you are not alone. Reaching out helps you to move forward and live.”