Children from blended families want their biological parents to remain friends and are keen to spend more time discussing family life with them, a new study suggests.

The information unveiled on Wednesday forms part of a project that seeks to understand the challenges blended families face, as the structure of the traditional nuclear family shifts. 

A blended family is a family unit in which one or both parents have children from a previous relationship, which combines to form a new family. Parents may be in a same-sex or heterosexual relationship and may, or may not, have children with each other. 

The study – Blended Families Research Project- is a first of its kind and is based on over 30 interviews with 10 blended families.

Children aged between 10-18, their biological parents, and their parent's partners were interviewed by researchers. The findings were presented by academics Angela Abela, Suzanne Piscopo, Sue Vella, and Allision Zammit Said.

Angela Abela (centre), one of the academics carrying out the qualitative research. Photo: Chris Sant Fournier

The final findings of the project will be presented at the end of the year by The Malta Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society, which commissioned the research. 

The project follows a 2016 study that showed that 53 per cent of divorcees and 37 per cent of those who had separated were now in a new relationship. 

How do children feel about their step-parents? 

During the presentation, the academics shared the perspective of four children they interviewed. Names were changed to protect the children's identities. 

Nicholas was 10 years old when he first met his mother’s new partner. Now 17, he told researchers he initially resented being disciplined by him, but is now happy.  

“I always liked his company, I respect him a lot and I love him,” he said during the interview.

Nicholas said he “appreciated” that his mother asked how he felt about her new partner. 

Jason, 10, uses specific words to refer to his stepfather Brian and biological father Roy.

“Brian is daddy and Roy is papa,” he said. 

Caroline, 18, found it hard to accept her stepfather at first.

“We used to argue a lot and not get along,” she recalled. She was 14 at the time. Now the whole family gets along and she considers him to be an important figure in her life.

Birth of half-siblings an emotional moment 

All children described feeling mixed emotions when they found out they would be having a half-brother or sister.

Jason said he missed spending time with his mother since his stepsister entered the picture, but kept that to himself as he does not “want her to feel guilty.” 

Caroline said she does not like people describing her brothers as "half-brothers". She was initially upset when she learnt her father was going to have another child.

“I took it badly, as I thought I was ‘daddy’s girl’ and I would be the only one for him,” she recalled. 

James also has two siblings – one from his biological father’s new family and another from his mother’s new family. 

While he was happy when he first found out he was going to have a sister, he was not so enthusiastic about the second one and missed spending quality time with his mother.

Children's advice to parents

All four children said that it is important that biological parents communicate openly between themselves and have a healthy relationship. 

They all spoke about the importance of spending quality time with each other and feeling understood by their family members. 

The children also advised other children going through a similar situation to give their stepparents a chance and to also celebrate being in a blended family. 

 MFWS chairperson Marie Louise Coleiro Preca, Speaker of the House Anġlu Farrugia and Family Minister Michael Falzon were also present during the conference.