How to create a stronger link with your child's school

My children attend San Andrea School, which is a school of the Parents' Foundation for Education. This means that the parents own the school, select the staff and make up its Board of Governors. They are stakeholders and decision-makers in ways not possible in other school set-ups.

However, this does not mean that the role of parents with respect to the school stops there. If anything, parents in this situation have a greater opportunity to become active members in the educational development of their school community. They also have a greater responsibility to make best use of this opportunity in ways that respect and affirm the professional work of the school administration and the teachers.

In a school such as San Andrea, the question of what is the right balance between parental involvement and school educational leadership acquires further depth. The potential for synergy and growth for all stakeholders - students, teachers, parents - is so much greater, as long as there is mutual understanding and respect for the interdependent but distinct roles of all concerned.

These are some rough-and-ready guidelines I try to apply in my own dealings with my children's school. The list has a primary school bias since our two boys are still young. But most of the guidelines can be adapted for the secondary sector as well. These tips could apply to parents in most school settings, but certain expectations might be more realistic in a Parents Foundation for Education school.

¤ Do make proposals for improvement, and follow these by offers to help out in at least one of your proposals.

¤ Do get involved in educational debates and discussions. You may not be familiar with all the buzz-words, but you should expect to be helped to understand and weigh the issues.

¤ Do expect high standards from the school, in teaching and learning, ways of involving parents, as well as in the physical and educational environment of the school.

¤ Do believe in your knowledge of, love for and faith in your children. You know what works with your children and their and your dreams for the future.

¤ On the other hand, don't phone in every time your children claim that no homework was given or they were bullied or unjustly punished - even your little 'angels' may be prone to pulling a fast one or only seeing their side of the event.

¤ Do wait to see if a pattern of events that are of concern sets in (unless the issue is really serious and requires immediate intervention, such as in case of abuse), then ask discretely for a meeting with the teacher or the administration.

¤ Do expect discretion, consideration and concrete proposals in such a meeting with the school.

¤ Do expect to see changes after this meeting. If none are apparent, do not wait for frustration to build up - communicate your concerns.

¤ Do allow that the teacher may have 'bad hair days'. They are prone to the same working life ups and downs as you.

¤ Do congratulate the school for any improvements you become aware of.

¤ Do go for concerts and other special school days. No work appointment is worth more than seeing your children swelling with pride as they seek out your eyes.

¤ Do go for parents' days and other special occasions to meet your children's teachers. No report card can replace talking face to face with the person who sees your children more than you do.

¤ Do praise the teacher and the administration for a well-prepared school activity, your children's progress in school, the welcoming environment, a lovingly set-up display.

¤ Do ask for guidelines on how to support your children's educational development.

¤ Do try and put these guidelines into practice, and Do give feedback to the teacher about how it went.

¤ Do participate in school community life - family activities, the school council, fundraisers for charity.

¤ If your mornings are free, Do volunteer to assist the learning process by, for example, serving as a reading or library assistant, or accompanying the children for an educational outing.

¤ Above all, Do thank God every morning that your children are in the capable hands of professionals you trust in a school you believe in, and Do pray for them to help your children grow into men and women who are fully alive, to themselves and to others.