I.M. Beck - quote unquote

I was never much of a fan of the late Pope's more conservative policies and I believe he should have abdicated some time ago, if only to allow himself some well deserved rest.

That having been said, I salute him now along with the rest of the civilised world: a man of enormous courage and tenacity, who moved mountains, has died and the world is the poorer for it.

A tough act to follow, in every sense of the phrase.

The lion roars

Last Monday, Doctor Alfred Sant was interviewed by this 'ere paper and the words of wisdom that dropped like the gentle rain from heaven (or whatever it was that Shakespeare wrote and Portia declaimed) were such excellent fodder for cynics like little moi that I just couldn't resist the temptation.

The dear fellow was answering questions put to him by Herman Grech and I am working on the assumption that Mr Grech got it right, apart from a rather obvious blooper which crept in and which I have left in to see if anyone is concentrating.

Doctor Alfred Sant's opening sally was that "there's also an increasing conviction that what the Labour Party is saying makes sense". After going through his interview, I have to say I can't gainsay him on this one. Not because what he was actually saying actually made sense but because what he said was so - how can I put this without sounding rude and offensive? - oh, so vague and platitudinous, that on any level you read it, it makes sense.

It doesn't actually mean anything, but it makes sense, a bit like this sentence makes sense but fails to contribute anything much to the sum total of human knowledge.

The economics master par excellence went on to pinpoint Dar Malta in Brussels as one project (among others, to be fair) where the government is squandering millions of liri. Another sensible statement, forsooth, in that you can understand the sense of it, but from a common-sense point of view, you just have to ask "what the heck is he on about?" Sure, fine, the embassy in Brussels is costing dough in the millions but all that's happening is that money is being transferred out of a bank account into immovable property: does Doctor Alfred Sant really want us to believe that property prices in Brussels are going to plummet, leaving us with a lemon?

Come on, man, make sense.

The duck-billed platitude

Well, if Doctor Alfred Sant can go about twisting his columns into pretzels in order to use words starting with "PR" I can use silly puns in my sub-heads, so there.

Probably (another PR word) the prize (number three) platitude uttered by the good fellow in his interview was the one where he said that they'll "take the Grand Harbour area and push it into a big redevelopment project. Workers from the shipyards could contribute to that. It can be done."

Oh please, stop - the image of the Malta Labour Party girding its loins, rolling up its sleeves and picking up the Grand Harbour area to push it into a big redevelopment project, with the shipyard workers behaving like bucolically ecstatic peasants ready to pitch in and do their bit has me in stitches.

Especially because he then went on to utter the immortal line "I think we lost the 1998 election because we were prepared to take much-needed unpopular measures", causing me to remember that just before the 1998 election, he had been in government and had called an election after turning a simple vote on - erm - the Grand Harbour redevelopment into a vote of confidence and - erm - losing that too.

Of course they lost in 1998 because they took much-needed unpopular decisions, the main one of which was to take the country out of the running to become a member of the EU. You know, the same EU he still, if you read between the lines of his interview, thinks we shouldn't be in. Proof that this was an unpopular decision lies in the fact that it led directly to Doctor Alfred Sant's Malta Labour Party losing three of the more important polling events that the country has seen. In fact, apart from the 1987 election which got us rid of the Mintoff/KMB tandem that was wobbling the country merrily towards democratic oblivion, you could say that the 1998 election and the referendum and 2003 election that were a natural consequence were the three most important polls of recent history.

Next to them, the local council elections which apparently give Doctor Alfred Sant such a warm glow pale into insignificance, frankly.

Economic with it

Let it never be said that Doctor Alfred Sant chickens out of flying in the face of accepted economic and fiscal theory.

Probably to the chagrin of anyone who doesn't like to pay tax, it is a well-known and widely accepted fact that taxes like the blasted VAT, with their rigorous and detailed reporting regimes, are a pretty effective way for the horrid tax-man to get his sticky fingers on the folding stuff.

But does this mean anything to our Harvard-educated intellectual with the multitude of highly efficient grey cells? Of course not. According to Doctor Alfred Sant "every country has a problem with tax evasion and VAT has not made it any easier".

The question that springs automatically to one's lips, as it did to Mr Grech's, is, then, "So how would you control tax evasion?" to which our hero glibly said: "We need better controls and management and less bureaucracy. The government needs to curb its expenditure. We launched a plan in December which proposed a cut in expenditure of five per cent a year. That would lead to savings of Lm60 million a year on the basis of current expenditure. We would introduce accrual accounting systems. The government promised it in 1999 and it hasn't done anything about it."

You'll excuse me for making you read Doctor Alfred Sant's words twice (assuming you read them in the first place) but if I hadn't quoted them at length, I would have been accused of taking them out of context.

So, there you have it: According to the man from Harvard, to control tax evasion you introduce accrual accounting systems (my eyes just glazed over) and you cut government expenditure by five per cent (including on education, health and social services, I assume). How this leads to a clamp-down on tax evasion is something that has to remain in pectore for our man, because it is not self-evident, by any means.

One can only conjecture that lower government spending will lead to a lower government tax requirement decreasing tax evasion proportionately. Don't ask me to explain it, I only got an "E" in economics in 1973.

Living in the past

Mr Grech then took a little trip down memory lane to muse aloud about how "the MLP is often criticised for its ties 'with people from the past'...", which got an equal and opposite reaction from Doctor Alfred Sant who said that "the PN is linked with the people from the past. What applies to the goose applies to the gender. I mean our President is the former Prime Minister."

This little exchange is moderately peculiar: Mr Grech hints at the less than congenial company that the MLP used to keep with gentlemen with whom you would be less than enthusiastic to break bread and for Doctor Alfred Sant this is the same as the former PM now being the President.

It makes one wonder if Doctor Alfred Sant lives in the same universe as the rest of us.

Leisurely pursuing it

And while on the subject of art, which we weren't, yet, take yourself off to the Couvre Port in Vittoriosa and have a look at the Blitz Installation in the restored war time shelters.

Impressive is a good word for it.

And then stroll into the city to one of the wine bars for a ftira and a glass of the good stuff: We went to the Sant'Angelo, which is an excellent example of the genre.

After a pretty hectic weekend before last doing family things with art (OK, I won't remind you to go to Muska to look at the family's stuff...) we took ourselves off to Gozo for a short weekend at the Calypso, which was up to the very good standard we have come to take as standard.

Dinner on Saturday night was shovelled down at the Oleander in Xaghra and it was good wholesome stuff enjoyed by all. We weren't able to make it to lunch on Sunday but it was reported that the refurbished Kartell in Marsalforn served up some fine fare too - we'll have to prove that particular pudding for ourselves pretty soon.