Plagued by mental health issues since youth, Mark Azzopardi, 40, is trying to rebuild his life after being institutionalised for experiencing severe visual and auditory hallucinations. He spoke to Jessica Arena. 

When asked about his childhood growing up in St Julian’s, Mark immediately says that he was bullied.

“I was picked on constantly because I was small. I would be harassed and beaten. It would follow me everywhere I went,” he says.

His parents switched schools for him multiple times, to no avail, he even attended doctrine lessons or youth groups but it would still happen.

“The experience soured me and I became a very violent person. It’s not right, but there’s a limit, you know, to how much a person can actually take. But eventually I realised that I had become the bully.”

Experiencing mental health issues since youth, Mark’s symptoms manifested as psychosis, a rare form of mental disorder that affects between five to eight per cent of the population.

Sufferers generally experience some form of detachment from reality, including severe disturbances in thinking, emotions and behaviour, which can severely disrupt a person from leading a normal life.

For Mark, symptoms manifested as vivid auditory and visual hallucinations which plagued him at crucial junctures of his life, often encouraging him to commit violent acts.

“I saw the devil and it was terrifying,” he says.

“I used to hear voices and they used to tell me the most awful things. ‘Let’s go beat someone up, let’s go and hurt somebody very badly.’ It was horrible and I needed to find help.”

Finding help gave me my life back

Having been in the system for around 20 years, through the Richmond Foundation, Mark now lives semi-independently in a hostel for patients who were previously institutionalised.

In the hostel, people are free to live as independently as possible, with the facility of an emotional as well as a social support worker who are on site to assist when residents are feeling overwhelmed.

Mark, who schedules his own appointments and cooks and cleans for himself, enjoys living in the community and having the opportunity to socialise when he can.

“When I first reached out to a psychiatrist everything changed for me,” Mark says.

“I get good care and I am healed, thanks to Jesus, medicine, doctors and my family.

“Richmond Foundation, my siblings and friends all stepped up for me when I needed them the most. I have always found support, I always have someone to talk to and when I talk people listen to me.

“My treatment is ongoing, I take medication and do working sessions. I talk about my anxieties and frustrations and the things that I have to accept and how to control my behaviour. But I feel so much better now. I have a family here. They have allowed me to be reborn.”

While Mark notes that the situation has improved dramatically in recent years, he hopes people could learn to be more compassionate when dealing with people experiencing severe mental disorders and not single them out for having to be institutionalised.

“I hope that with more mental health awareness than ever before, people might not judge a person when they see certain behaviour because you never know their story or what they’re going through.

“The stigma can be debilitating if you’re going through it, but I encourage anyone who is struggling to not be afraid of seeking help, because finding help gave me my life back.”

If you are experiencing mental health difficulties, Richmond Foundation can be reached through their helpline 1770 or through their online chat service at richmond.org.mt.