Being an authoritative yet playful aunt is not that easy, says Kristina Cassar Dowling.
It seems like everyone has a set of great tips to give their friends on how to parent – pointing out all they do wrong so wilfully it sometimes hits a nerve. Well, parenting is no easy job and although I myself do not have children that depend on me every single day, I’m the lucky kind of guardian who gets to spend time with two beautiful girls I’m proud to call my nieces.
The duties of an aunt are widespread – they start with the ability to entertain and treat kids for being adorable little angels and unfortunately tell them when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be, mostly to teach the rights and wrongs in life. Telling someone not to do something – though it often eggs them in the opposite direction – inspires them to work for something is a whole lot easier.
Setting up a system to get household chores done, homework duties ticked off the list and bigger projects added to their achievements of the day can be made fun and exciting. Whenever I’m set to spend a fair amount of hours with my nieces, we set up a system where every good thing they do is noted with points that add up to a grand prize at the end of the week. Some of these tasks may include tidying up the house, tending to the family pets and helping each other out with bigger jobs – promoting teamwork and a sense of belonging. Reward can range from silly gifts such as tacos for dinner or even extended to a trip to the cinema; two tokens that if we’re being honest were going to happen regardless of their behaviour.
Wrongdoings need to be noted too and no matter how hard it may be to tell a kid off, there’s really no value for the good if the bad goes by unnoticed. Visual displays of this behaviour analysis usually sets things into perspective and in our family we call these cookie points. Where a collection of points, say 10 in a week or perhaps 10 a day for bigger kids, translate into cookie points and can be redeemed for a super treat. A cinema trip is generally five cookie points while a taco Tuesday feast needs only two cookie points.
Setting up a system to get household chores done and homework duties ticked off the list can be exciting
Bad points – which we simply call crosses – are game changers though, and can lose you all rights to a treat. Crosses are given for poor behaviour and deliberate bad behaviour – but going soft on these won’t make you a bad guardian, just a sensitive one who can turn a blind eye at times.
Being the fun aunt is far easier than being the one to scold a child for their wrongdoings or tend to them when they’ve fallen ill. It’s also totally free of responsibility in essence and can be viewed as extended playtime in the parents’ perspective. Well, I beg to differ. As an aunt (or uncle) you’re presented with a certain amount of responsibility that doesn’t necessarily come from the child’s parents but rather stems directly from the children themselves – no pressure at all right? Totally wrong! Kids have such high expectations, they’re constantly waiting for the next ‘fun’ thing to happen and as they grow older they tend to lean on you as an authoritative yet playful figure whose role in their lives is so, so important.
The best rewards are enjoyed together - in and out of the house. Here are some ideas.
In the kitchen with the kiddies
Get out the baking gear and prepare yourself for a serious amount of flour to end up on the kitchen floor – no harm done if you’re ready for it. When kids make something from scratch and see the results, they’re so proud of themselves and here’s the best part – you get to enjoy the whole process with them too.
Time in nature
Start off this trip with a brisk walk, get the energy out and use the time to speak to your kids, pack a super feast in the form of a picnic and make sure there’s a variety of healthy snacks that your kids can enjoy on the go. A football or frisbee is always a great idea – play together, you’ll be creating memories and hopefully letting your kid show you their skills on the field.
Outings with the family
Trips to more commercial spots are also a great way to spend time together, you can always go to the cinema or watch a play together but a bowling session or fun park adventure may be a better way to enjoy your free time together. You can set the pace and encourage some healthy competition.
Favourite restaurants
Win, win here – no doubt. There’s never a dull moment when you’re out, dining in a restaurant and the only thing that could make this better is if your wee tots are beaming with their favourite bits of food on a plate in front of them. Plus, teaching your kids how to behave in a restaurant is always a good idea.
Craft sessions
Get ready for a splurge of creativity. This is where the little ones will greatly impress you with their colour choices, strange yet accurate sketches and full on bursts of creativity. Make their efforts known - grab yourself a big canvas that’s intended to feature in the hallway or living room; your little artists will be so proud of their displayed work of art.