As I will write in my regular column in The Sunday Times (next Sunday 11/10/09) I cannot comment on the proceedings of the Doha conference held this week in Malta. I had to decline the invitation as this was extended to me on condition that I attend all sessions, a commitment which I could not make.

In The Sunday Times, I will be commenting on a number of aspects of the speech delivered by President George Abela. In this blog I will comment on other aspects of that speech and other contributions that I did not include in my column in The Sunday Times.

Marriage: only between a man and a woman

The President in his speech made use of the definition of family used in the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights: "The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society." Dr Abela says that "here, the family is clearly understood as being composed of two married parents, a male and a female, together with their offspring." And when later he uses a definition of marriage he adds that "So marriage does not mean relationships which involve two men or two women or a variety of other possibilities."

The President does not include the possibility of gay marriage among the family related issues that he thinks have become a political priority. Good for him since marriage can only exist between a man and a woman. The natural structure of human sexuality makes man and woman complementary partners for expressing conjugal love and for transmitting human life.

This unique complementarity makes possible the conjugal bond that is the core of marriage. The permanent and exclusive commitment of marriage is the necessary context for the expression of sexual love both to serve the transmission of human life and to build up the bond between husband and wife.

As the United States bishops said in one of their statements "same-sex union contradicts the nature and purposes of marriage. It is not based on the natural complementarily of male and female. It cannot cooperate with God to create new life; and the natural purpose of sexual union cannot be achieved by a same-sex union. Because persons in a same-sex union cannot enter into a true conjugal union, it is wrong to equate their relationship to a marriage."

Working mothers

President Abela made a reference to working mothers.

"We are witnessing an increase in the number of working mothers which undoubtedly puts new pressures on the family."

This sentence can be understood to mean that working mothers are a problem. I do not believe that the President wanted to communicate this meaning. New pressures are being put on the family not because mothers are working but because many husbands still expect the working mother to fulfil all the roles that were previously fulfilled by the non-working ones. (This term is not correct as mothers have a full time job at home.) Many husbands, for example, do not share in housework and child minding. Besides, many of those husbands who do housework think that they are doing something extraordinary or a favour to their wives. In those households where both parents work the roles of men and women have to be adjusted to this particular situation.

Society has not provided an adequate infrastructure that permits husbands and wives to balance their working life with their family oriented roles. To make matters worse, working mothers are made to feel guilty for all sorts of real or imagined evils. Husbands and fathers, who generally are to blame, are consequently let scot-free.

Unknown fathers

Social Policy Minister John Dalli's speech should be an eye-opener:

"The rate of births outside marriage by Maltese mothers has increased at an alarming rate in a very short span of time, from 12.9% in 2002 to 25% in 2008. One in every four births is from young mothers under 20 and 53% of these register their baby as father unknown.

"Another 30% are from mothers between the age of 20 and 24. Again even here a high percentage (39%) register the births as father unknown. The percentage of those who register as father unknown goes down to 24% and 23% respectively for those mothers who are in the 25 to 29 and the 30 to 34 age bracket but nevertheless this rate is still high. It is much lower after that."

Why are there so many unknown fathers? Any why are there so many when births are by young mothers under twenty? Is there a lot of promiscuity so people do not necessarily know who the father is? Is this happening only because the couple wants to benefit from social services?

The Minister's proposal to find what is really happening is a positive and sensible proposal. When will it be put into practice?

The beautiful contribution of the Church

Pope Benedict XVI in an August 2006 interview with German-speaking media said,

"Christianity, Catholicism, isn't a collection of prohibitions: It's a positive option. ... We've heard so much about what is not allowed that now it's time to say: We have a positive idea to offer, that man and woman are made for each other, that the scale of sexuality, eros, agape, indicates the level of love, and it's in this way that marriage develops, first of all, as a joyful and blessing-filled encounter between a man and a woman, and then the family, which guarantees continuity among generations and through which generations are reconciled to each other and even cultures can meet."

What will the Church do more to actualise this vision enunciated by the Pope?

Conclusion

For my comments on other aspects of the speech of the President please see my regular column on Sunday.