It’s that time of the year again: ‘A dog is not for Christmas’. Then again, giving somebody a dog (or any pet) at any time of the year can be equally reckless and inappropriate.   

Being a dog owner is not just for one day, or when you’re happy and in the right sort of mood. It’s every day, three times a day, rain or shine, no matter how sick or hungover you are, and even if you’re running a temperature.  And yes, there will also be days when your dog is violently sick – all over your favourite carpet or, even worse, your car.

There will be days when you will go ‘walkies’ seven or eight times a day because your dog will ask you to. He will look at you and make a sound that tells you that he’s in trouble, and can’t hold his stool. And you will respond instinctively. 

And it never ends. If you do it properly, the way you are supposed to, owning a dog will leave you physically and mentally exhausted. It’s a full-time job, from which you’ll never really have a holiday. So please don’t get me started on holidays. I haven’t gone on a proper one in seven years. 

Getting a dog may not be the biggest life decision of all but the repercussions will be life-changing enough. For me, owning a dog was never part of the plan. Seven years ago, I had absolutely no intention of getting one. I happily dog-sat and dog-walked, content to admire dogs from a very safe distance. And every time my son lobbied for one, I made the usual excuses: commitment, responsibility and sacrifice. Yet when he stopped asking, a dog somehow ‘happened’.    

That it would be tough – I knew. But I’d never really sat down and done my homework the way one should. Then again, I don’t think all the reading and preparation in the world can ever prepare you for what’s in store. Like marriage and having children, it’s the proverbial Pandora’s box – and only understood once experienced. If I’d known that in advance, I’m not sure I’d have followed through.  

And yet, having taken the plunge, I’d do it all over again. Does that make sense? Probably not. Contradiction seems to go with the territory. Owning a dog may have changed my life in ways I’d have once considered unacceptable; yet here I am, hopelessly devoted to him, and in ways which continue to surprise. I will not bore you with the details but will only add that I am not your average dog owner. 

I actually took three months ‘maternity leave’ when he was a puppy, to the amusement (and consternation?) of friends. Of course, it goes without saying that there must be many outstanding dog owners out there, far less obsessive than me.

This article isn’t directed at them. It’s for the other breed: the ones who acquired a pet on impulse only to then shirk their responsibilities and abandon them to animal rescue centres. 

Dogs want to be around the people they know- Michela Spiteri

‘Rescue’ doesn’t necessarily solve the problem. An abandoned dog shouldn’t have to endure a second raw deal and ordeal. So, I’m also addressing rehoming organisations now. They do a wonderful job, particularly when they don’t allow an animal’s ‘rescue’ to be decided too lightly. There must be due diligence, a rigorous background check, and a proper ‘KYC’. Some, like the MSPCA, know what they’re doing. Others, I fear (and hear), might be less discriminating. Which worries me no end.  

You see, a dog is not for a day, a month, or a year. It’s a 14- to 15-year sentence without parole. Before you get one, think carefully. Where is your life going? Where will you be in five, 10 or 15 years? And if upping and leaving the country is something you might consider, then a dog isn’t something you want to add to the mix. 

Here are a few things you should know.

You need time. Lots of it. If therefore you work long hours and intend leaving your pet alone, a dog is not a good idea. And if you like travelling and partying, that’s another red flag... unless of course your dog has the run of the house (and garden?) and if there are other people around to keep him company.

Dogs want to be around the people they know; so, if your idea of having a dog is to leave your animal incarcerated all day in some garage or room, or abandoned on a roof, then do yourself, your neighbours and the dog a favour, and forget it. 

And another thing: a dog is not a ‘one-time’ expense. He’s a permanent tenant living inside your home, rent-free. Depending on breed, you’re looking at a minimum of €100-€150 a month for food and bare necessities. Then add veterinary bills. These can be pretty steep, especially if your dog decides to ingest something he shouldn’t. And once you factor in vaccinations, passports and grooming, you could easily be looking at a whole lot more.

So, are you prepared to pay whatever it costs to keep your animal safe and healthy? If not, then spare the expense and don’t commit.  

Puppies will chew your shoes and your furniture – and in my case an Apple charger and a lip liner as well. They’ll also ruin your carpets when they’re potty-training and when, later in life, they are incontinent. They will try your patience and there will be days when you will rue the day you brought him home. Only you can’t give your dog back. That’s just not an option. Which means that if you’re a shirker or a characterless person who doesn’t see things through to the end, you don’t deserve to have a dog. 

I think it was Ricky Gervais who said, “I hope life treats you the way you treat animals”. That just about sums it up. A very Happy Christmas to my readers, particularly those who are kind to animals.