Welcome to The Money Coach, a Times of Malta column where readers can ask questions about life's money issues. Send your questions about personal finances, inheritance, gifting or other personal finance topics to moneycoach@timesofmalta.com

Dear Luca,

I am currently facing a problem that might cause significant tension in my future.

My fiancée and I are looking for a property to buy and live in. We’ve found an ideal place in a village that holds sentimental value for us—perfect in every way and suitable for a growing family. However, the loan repayment would be nearly €2,000 per month – a commitment I would have to honour for the next 37 years.

Here's where the problem lies: my grandmother has offered to give me one of her apartments for us to live in, as a 'donation.' This incredible opportunity means no loan repayments, ever. However, her condition is that the property remains solely in my name and that my fiancée would have no claim over it. Additionally, my grandmother is giving me this property specifically for me to live in, not to rent out or use as an income source.

I am not sure if that can change in the future, but if I agree to the offer I intend to honour my grandmother’s wishes completely, even after she passes away.

I have witnessed firsthand how tensions concerning property can impact a couple's life. Growing up, I remember the arguments at home, with my father frequently reminding my mother that the property was solely in his name. The threat of "I can kick you out whenever I want" was a regular occurrence, causing fear and insecurity. Though my father always apologised afterward, the damage was done, and it's a scenario I am desperate to avoid in my own marriage.

So, Luca, what would you do in my situation? Should I accept my grandmother’s generous offer and avoid the lifelong burden of a property loan, or should I pass up this opportunity to prevent potential future tension in my relationship?

Best regards,

Conflicted Fiancé

Luca responds:

My first instinct would, of course, be to tell you to take up your grandmother on her generous offer. I have a home loan myself, and I can’t begin to imagine the extra things I could be doing if that monthly repayment commitment wasn’t there!

I completely understand your concern about your fiancée not owning the property. This leads me to my first question: Is there a possibility, as remote as it may sound, that your fiancée buys a property under her name only? This could balance matters out – I know many couples who follow such arrangements and live in complete harmony.

Your grandmother’s intention for you to live in the property and not rent it out complicates things. I understand why it’s such a hard decision to make. You might promise yourself you won’t ever mention what your dad used to say to your fiancée, but this can get hard, especially when tensions rise – it is rare that you control your words in such a scenario.

So financially speaking, your grandmother’s offer makes complete sense; emotionally speaking, it might not. I had a similar offer in the past, which I chose not to take in order to ensure that my wife and I start our married life as 100% equals. Many might disagree with this stance, but to this day, seven years later, I never regretted it.

Another consideration is the potential for growth in both your personal and financial lives. While the immediate relief from a home loan is appealing, owning property together can be a unifying project, a shared dream that you both work towards. It fosters a sense of joint accomplishment and deepens the partnership.

On the other hand, if you decide to accept your grandmother’s gift, you could also explore ways to make your fiancée feel equally invested. Perhaps, if feasible, you could both contribute to renovating or furnishing the property, creating a shared space that reflects both of your tastes and efforts.

Ultimately, it’s crucial that you both feel comfortable and at peace with whatever decision you make.

Luca is the founder of the Money Coaching Hub and the innovative financial wellbeing platform: Monipal. Email him your financial questions or your response to today's question for a chance to be featured in a future column.

Disclaimer: This column is intended to provide general information on various topics related to personal finance. The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as personalised financial advice for your specific situation. Financial decisions are highly individual and can vary greatly based on your unique circumstances, goals, and risk tolerance. The author of this column is not authorised to provide financial advice. Before making any financial decisions, it is recommended to seek professional financial advice from an authorised financial advisor.