Eleven countries, three continents, two competitions.

I know I may be a little bit old-fashioned, but whatever happened to the days when a single destination would host football’s major tournaments?

Last week it was announced that Euro 2028 will be awarded to a joint UK and Ireland bid. This is after Turkey withdrew from that race to focus on hosting the 2032 competition. With Italy.

Meanwhile, FIFA announced that the 2030 World Cup will be held in six countries over three continents – Europe, Africa and South America.

I can, with a little persuading, accept the logic behind the Euro 28 decision. While there may be five individual countries involved, they all form part of the same group of islands, which somewhat justifies the plan. But the World Cup being spread all over the shop is just plain silly.

This hybrid, bastardised version [of the World Cup] is what happens when executives without knowledge of football or the real world are allowed to organise things

FIFA justified the decision by wrapping it up in a sexy sound bite about how they were celebrating 100 years of the tournament and therefore paying homage to the first ever competition, which was held in Uruguay in 1930.

To honour that, the first game of the 2030 tournament will be held in Montevideo, followed by matches in Paraguay and Argentina, before the whole shebang moves over to Spain, Portugal and Morocco.

And just like that, FIFA once again shows its total contempt for the very people they are supposed to taking care of – the players and the fans.

To make this ‘three continent’ dream a reality, half a dozen teams will need to jet around the globe like Elon Musk trying to visit all his children. And, thanks to fact the tournament will span different hemispheres, the over-travelled players will end up playing games in completely different time zones and opposing climates.

How’s that for putting player welfare first?

Then there’s the fans. They are going to need to sell their homes just to cover the air fares as they hop from South America to Africa to Europe while trying to keep up with their team. And we haven’t even mentioned the environmental cost of the trillion air miles that will be racked up by everyone involved in the tournament? What’s FIFA’s plan there? Plant a couple of trees in a desperate bid to reduce their grubby carbon footprint?

As I said, I can just about cope with the UK and Ireland concept. And I am not even entirely against the Italy and Turkey plan as it would only involve one change of country for supporters.

But the 2030 World Cup idea is proper ludicrous. If they wanted to pay homage to the roots of their money-spinning tournament, then just host the whole darned thing in South America.

This hybrid, bastardised version is what happens when executives without knowledge of football or the real world are allowed to organise things.

Still, at least this madness means the 2034 tournament will be a lot simpler. With those three continents now ruled out by FIFA’s rotation rules, that means only bids from the Asian and Oceania federations will be accepted.

So, in other words, by scattering 2030 all over the place, FIFA set things up rather nicely for a Saudi Arabia slam dunk in 2034.

Is that just a happy coincidence? I will let you be the judge of that...

 

VAR you serious?

In the wake of last weekend’s latest spurt of screw-ups, I was going to write another piece slamming VAR, calling for it to be scrapped and saying how I wished it had never been introduced.

But you don’t need me to tell you that again, do you?

The reality is that nobody who truly loves football can put their hand on their heart and say the English game is better for the introduction of VAR.

It isn’t. It’s worse. And that’s an absolute fact.

 

Great Scot, it’s Big Frank

Frank Lampard to Rangers? That might just work.

At this point, I don’t think the former Chelsea man is up to the challenge of taking charge of a team in the English top-flight. He’s tried it twice with Chelsea and once with Everton with little success at either club.

And that suggests he isn’t what you would call a ‘natural’ – one of those guys whose mere presence on the training ground is enough to inspire his team to greatness.

On that basis, if he is going to make his way to the top of the managerial mountain, he is going to have to go the long route: continuing to cut his teeth at places where the scrutiny is not as intense as it is in the world’s richest league.

The Championship is one option, of course, but Scotland is probably better. Yes, it is pretty much a consistent two-horse race. But it also offers the chance of adding regular silverware to your CV and the possibility of playing in Europe, which provides invaluable experience.

Rangers could do a lot worse than offering the former England midfield the job because anyone with that sort of career must have something to offer. And the former England midfielder would be very stupid to turn down that offer if it comes, because Rangers are a big, big club by anyone’s standards.

 

Final question

So, if Newcastle United beat Sheffield United 8-0 and followed that up by beating Paris Saint-Germain 4-1, does that mean that Sheffield United are nearly 50 per cent as good as PSG?

Asking for a friend.

 

E-mail: James@quizando.com

Twitter: @maltablade