The kids aren’t alright

I have long believed that there should be a list of films or series that should be made mandatory for the public to watch to help them grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If I were compiling the list, I wouldn’t just add films that have heartbreakingly poignant and historical value, like Schindler’s List, but I would also consider works that capture the zeitgeist of the time in which they were made. This is where Netflix’s Adolescence comes in. And, without being sensationalist, I feel there is not a parent alive who shouldn’t see this four-episode drama.

The series starts with the police raiding a 13-year-old boy’s home. The boy in question looks so small, scrawny and, well, pathetic, that you can barely imagine him stealing a packet of Werther’s Originals, let alone committing the crime that he has been accused of: that of stabbing a girl from school.

I remember spending the first episode thinking there was no world in which this boy could have committed such a heinous act. Despite my own life experiences, I kept wondering if it was a case of mistaken identity. He kept denying that he had done anything wrong, and I believed him hook, line and sinker.

When the police brought out the footage of him committing the crime, I was shocked, almost to the point of devastation, but when I later saw his interactions with the female clinical psychologist as he towered over her and attempted to intimidate her, that shock quickly turned to disgust and the kind of discomfort I haven’t felt in a long time.

The worst part? This series wasn’t pulled out of thin air. It’s based on several cases of knife crime by male teenagers in the United Kingdom.

It has become harder to raise children than it has ever been before

Of course, when I read about last week’s school stabbing and the allegations that the 14-year-old aggressor had been subjected to ‘years’ of school bullying, it was hard not to draw a parallel with the television series. The news that followed a day later, that a girl at another school, who was also 14, allegedly broke another girl’s nose after punching her in the face, has just compounded my feelings that the same thing infecting teenagers in the rest of Europe has reached our shores.

In the immortal words of rock band ‘The Offspring’, the kids aren’t alright.

The truth is, despite the numerous self-help books, podcasts and informative videos, it has become harder to raise children than it has ever been before. As the fabric that kept communities together continues to disin­tegrate, and children are increasingly isolated from their peers due to fast-paced lifestyles and mammoth advances in technology, more and more teenagers will inevitably turn to the same machines that raised them to find information and role models.

The problem with machines is that they’re not real, and people are, and the less time we spend with people and their feelings, the greater the chance that we lose sight of our humanity and that of others.

We need to educate our children and we need to gatekeep them. That’s what raising children is about. And if you’re not up to the challenge, then perhaps that’s an indication that children are not for you. Listen to your offspring and learn what is important to them.

Adolescents need support, and if they feel like they can’t get it from you, make no mistake, they’ll just go and find it elsewhere.

Opinion writer