Men and pregnancy

Men have always had an uneasy place in the abortion debate.

For the pro-choice side, pro-choice men are welcome allies but they have a dubious right to speak on the issue.

Men are also, by virtue of their gender, linked to the patriarchy that is taken to be the force behind our abortion bans and restrictions under the criminal code, a law that pro-choice activists see as both a push for male power over women and an illustration of male privilege.

On the pro-life side, many advocates are understandably concerned about giving the impression that their cause is all about men telling women what they can and cannot do with their bodies. That stereotype persists, despite the presence of many prominent women in the pro-life movement.

While pro-choice advocates often cast abortion as a matter of gender equality, allowing women, like men, to have sex with no physical consequences, I contend that if women in Malta one day have access to abortion, equal protection would require men to have a limited right to waive all paternal rights and obligations.

Men’s relationship with pregnancy and childbearing should never be dismissed as entirely trivial and inconsequential. Photo: Shutterstock.com

Obviously, everyone’s experience is personal. The experience of not being told about the pregnancy and only finding out about the abortion can be particularly difficult. Again, this does not mean that women are the villains in those stories. Some may have reasons to fear the man’s reaction while others may be struggling with their own emotional confusion and trying to avoid wrenching conversations. While I profess to be a militant anti-abortionist, stories like these can easily become fodder for misogynistic narratives of women as vindictive baby killers. Yet, the truth is that neither sex has a monopoly on bad or irresponsible behaviour.

Men’s relationship with pregnancy and childbearing should never be dismissed as entirely trivial and inconsequential, particularly in a culture like ours that seeks to encourage men to be as involved in parenting as women. How do we tell men to have an equal emotional investment in a child while also telling them that they should have no say, not just legally but morally, in what happens before birth?

There are strong arguments for not losing sight of men’s fundamental humanity in the abortion debate, whether on the pro-life or pro-choice side.

Mark Said – Msida

Jobs so well done

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Fr Jeremy Vella SDB on his appointment as headmaster of St Patrick’s Salesian School, in Sliema. He was formerly the head of Savio College where he served for the past seven years and where he made a big impact.

Two of my favourite initiatives that were undertaken by him were the purchasing of bicycles, so they can be used by students during physical education sessions, and the one where, every summer, he takes a group of students to the birthplace of St John Bosco in Turin and its surroundings.

I also would like to thank Fr Eric Cachia SDB who served as rector of St Patricks Residential Home and headmaster of St Patrick’s Salesian School. I am sure he was assisted by St John Bosco and Mary Help of Christians in doing these two jobs so well.

One of the sayings frequently used by Don Bosco was “Fear not. Our Lady will provide us with everything we need”. And these two amazing people believed it.

Carl Abela – Watford, UK