As a result of social media, today’s adolescents are missing out on developing both social and communication skills, says Isabelle Anastasi

I wouldn’t want to be an adolescent right now. It’s extremely hard, difficult and tiring. It’s almost impossible to keep up with what is happening today in adolescence – not just radical changes on a physical and emotional level but there’s also the added struggle of being on social media.

I have no idea how many different types of social platforms are available today. I am aware of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and a few others, but I bet that there are lots of different others for young people to browse and be part of.

Interaction on social media, if balanced and monitored, is not always catastrophic. If I had to think about it, I would say that it is easier to socialise on a platform rather than on a face-to-face basis and it takes less time to do so than in real time.

Young people who may lack social skills or suffer from social anxiety, for example, might find it easier to socialise on a social platform. Those who may pertain to minority groups are also able to join groups where they can find the support and make easier connections for their cause.

But what happens when interaction on social media becomes the adolescent’s reality? What happens when young people find themselves leading a double life? What is the impact on the adoloscent’s mental health when they cannot distinguish between what is virtual and what is real?

The outcome is not exactly pleasant. Young people have become so engrossed with being on social media that they are literally checking out on their real lives. They have become obsessed with posting pictures of themselves on these social platforms. Such pictures are mostly edited and altered to make them look better than they are (or so modern society would have them think). No wonder we, therapists and mental health professionals, are witnessing a decline in adolescents’ mental health. No wonder adolescents are going through a massive loss of self-esteem. Because, truthfully, they know that they cannot compare their real selves with the edited picture they have posted on their social platform.

We cannot ban adolescents from being on social media

They have committed themselves to ‘living on the likes’. Their happiness and self-satisfaction seem to be dictated by the amount of likes and positive comments they receive on every photo they upload.

Interacting on social media has resulted in a rise in young people’s anxiety, depression and negative body image which might also lead to eating disorders. They are becoming isolated from their families and friends. Young people engrossed on social platforms are now having family dinners locked up in their rooms on their phones or iPads and are totally becoming alienated from what is happening around them.

They are living in an isolated bubble and they are missing out on developing both social and communication skills. They are also moving away from developing the skills needed to meet new people, integrate, engage in conversations and also solve an argument in real time. Young people on social media tend to gang up and bully others.  The arguments become more cruel because there is nothing barring them from writing anything on the platform.

We are witnessing a generation who lacks empathy and compassion. No wonder cyberbullying is on the rise. No wonder self-harm is increasing. Of course, a young person cannot stop an argument from becoming blatantly cruel on social media. How can they? They have to endure all messages that are sent to them – of whatever nature they might be. Young people’s profiles are now filled with thousands of fake friends who all have access to their pictures and comments and which can be used for any reason. The rise of online abuse is real. No teenager can stop this roller coaster once it starts rolling.

What can we do about it? We cannot ban adolescents from being on social media. It does not work that way. Primarily, parents, guardians, educators and all those who come in contact with young people need to encourage an open line of positive communication.

We should work on building a trustworthy relationship with our youngsters for them to feel safe to come to us when they are in trouble.

It is very important to support them rather than judge them or lecture them. The latter will only create walls in communication. Teach them to disconnect from their phones at certain times during the day. Show them what is happening around them and what is important and real. They might grumble at first but they will realise that you are there for them and that you love them. Finally, seek professional help if you realise that your teenager is going through a very rough patch and needs further support. Together we might help these young people break this cycle and learn to live in the present rather than in the virtual.

Isabelle Anastasi is a warranted counsellor.