Marriage as a vocation

When we use the word vocation we are talking about what God is inviting people to do with their lives. Some He invites to the priesthood or to the religious life, some to the sacrament of marriage.

When a couple fall in love and plan to marry, their ambition is always that their marriage will be a happy one. Marriage is not just an event coinciding with the wedding ceremony. It is a whole way of life and becomes a success only if it is positively and well prepared for.

It is regretted that nowadays, more marriages break down than they did a generation ago. But in looking for the reasons for the present situation one must take into account the very real social and religious changes which have occurred in recent decades.

Normally, when a couple decide to marry, a relationship of true love will already have been established between them. But it is important that they clearly recognise just what their proposed marriage will involve in terms of that love. Principally, they must see their love in terms of self-giving, the giving of each to the other and not just for a time but for life.

Christian marriage is a sacrament and to understand this, one has to look at the history of God's dealings with man. The loving relationship between husband and wife is uniquely expressed and perfected through the marital act and the children are the supreme gift of marriage.

Today many couples feel that their relationship is already sufficiently established and do not need any preparation from the Church. However, if the couple is wise, they will test together seriously before they make their final decision to marry. No one can hope for much happiness with a selfish husband or wife. So make all your tests for this virtue before marriage... not afterwards.

Sometimes you plan dates the way you want them in order to see whether your fiancée is willing to accede to your wishes. Watch to see if she is inclined to turn on you and charge you with selfishness when you want to go somewhere, or do something, that does not strike her fancy. The young lady must also be testing the boyfriend. If he boasts about the number of women who have fallen for him, he is both conceited and selfish. Criticise your hero once in a while to see whether or not your criticism makes him sulky and resentful.

These tests may seem very trivial, but they are nor more trivial than the symptoms of a disease, for they indicate selfishness, which if it is not overcome will make your union unhappy... and ever intolerable.

Respecting one another and control of self must be evident from the very start of your courtship, otherwise you will be cultivating lust, not love. Passion-arousing practices gnaw away at the very essence of love, when they are indulged outside marriage. Religion is the most important factor to be considered in marriage and in this regard so many couples fail to face the challenges in marriage.

The sacrament of marriage is a supernatural partnership between a man and a woman and God. It is a vocation just as much is the priesthood or the religious life, furthermore it is a sacramental state of life.

Marriage is a great sacrament and without any doubt difficulties will arise, but the sacrament of marriage will be there to meet them. Its graces will soften sorrows, quell disputes and help to forgive one another. It will be like a supernatural insurance policy, containing all the provisions necessary to clear the worldly preoccupations.