Welcome to The Money Coach, a Times of Malta column where readers can ask questions about life's money issues. Send your questions about personal finances, inheritance, gifting or other personal finance topics to moneycoach@timesofmalta.com. 

Dear Luca,

I am a 69-year-old pensioner who recently retired from work. I still do some consultancy work but have significantly reduced my workload. I lack nothing and have enough to live a comfortable retirement. My biggest concern, however, is my 41-year-old son. He still lives with us and, despite his age, has never found a stable job - a job lasting more than two years. 

He constantly tells me that work conditions now are different than they were in my time, when working long-term with one employer was the norm. He earns a good salary, quite above average, I would say. However, he has always hesitated to buy property, and now that prices have risen so much, it is still very difficult for him to buy despite his income.

I have another child who is married and has a young family. So my dilemma is this: how long should I continue to support my 41-year-old? I am not saying I don’t want him with me anymore, but I feel quite guilty that I have allowed this to happen for so long. I believe it has caused him to be dependent on me, and he has always refused to buy property, instead spending on trips and other things that I deem irresponsible.

Thanks for your help.

A Worried Father

Luca responds:

The scenario you describe is becoming quite common. According to Eurostat data, about 50% of young adults in Europe still live with their parents, with the rates varying significantly across countries.

I would start by pushing your son to be more financially aware of what his immediate and long-term future will look like if he doesn’t start thinking about it. Your son cannot just rest easy that he will eventually inherit half of your possessions - he should be working to plan his own personal finance future better. As a parent, you can help him do this by being there for him to help him become independent.

Begin with an honest conversation about his current financial situation and future goals. Then, sit down together and review his finances, including income, expenses, savings, debts, and any investments. This will give a clear picture of where he stands financially.

Help him create a detailed spending plan, projecting his income and expenses over the next few months. There may be areas where he can cut unnecessary spending and allocate more towards savings. If he has debts, it might be a good idea to make an effort to repay them quickly, especially if they are debts with high interest rates.

You could also help him develop short and long-term financial goals is crucial. For example, does he have an emergency fund which covers his expenses for the coming 3-6 months? If not, it would be a good idea to start concentrating on one. The next goal would be to start saving for a down payment on a home (if this is considered a financial goal).

An effective monthly budget to manage his money more effectively will help him save more of his income regularly. Nowadays there are multiple budgeting tools and apps that can help him. Alternatively, a basic Excel sheet, with income and expenses, can also go a long way in this regard.

You pointed out that he earns an ‘above average’ salary, but at the same time he is finding it difficult to save for a home deposit. In this regard, I recommend that your son finds ways to increase his income, maybe through a side hustle which is becoming quite a popular way of income enhancement nowadays. I constantly talk about the importance of monetising one’s talents, and in this way the extra income won’t feel forced, as your son would be earning extra doing what he loves the most.

Make it a target to meet at least once a month or every two months to discuss progress – this will help your son be more accountable. During such meetings you can establish clear boundaries regarding the financial support (if any that you will provide). I recommend that you gradually decrease this, to encourage independence.

All this may sound difficult to implement, especially if you have never discussed personal finances. But this discussion must start. Remember, it is because personal finances are such a taboo that we have so many people suffering from financial hardships nowadays. We can start alleviating financial stress by communicating more. 

Luca is the founder of the Money Coaching Hub and the innovative financial wellbeing platform: Monipal. Email him your financial questions or your response to today's question for a chance to be featured in a future column.