I sometimes wonder whether to believe conspiracy theories or not. Most often, I just listen to the latest one making the rounds and ignore it.
The Egrant saga (with the anagram ‘argent’ evidencing the link to someone who is infatuated with the use of French) is one such theory that has made the rounds. Whether it will be discarded or not remains to be seen.
Another one is the American University of Malta. The theory goes that there was once a meeting in a middle eastern country between our leaders and some Levantine developers who hatched a plan to buy cheap land in Malta. Conditions were laid down and permits duly issued.
Next followed the illusion of Żonqor. I say illusion because the ‘conspiracy’ was to seek a 40,000 square metre plot of land, cause an uproar and then pretend to listen to the noise coming from Joe Citizen and reduce the acreage to 18,000 square metres. The plan includes the refurbishment and disfiguration of the warehouses of the Knights on the Cottonera waterfront by adding a glass superstructure, undoing their fine proportions.
Having reached the enormous number of 45 students, from a projected 4,000, the rest of the conspiracy has to wait. The uproar caused by robbing Senglea and Cottonera citizens of their parking spots in order to build a horrible eyesore of a dormitory and parking lot underground right in front of Senglea gates is another hurdle the conspirators will have to overcome.
But if the conspiracy is to succeed and not just fall apart like many other theories, then some deus ex machina must intervene to calm the people of Senglea and Cottonera and give the Levantines, and their friends in high places whom they are probably fronting, what was agreed long ago in a middle eastern land.
It all seems like Scheherazade and the 1001 Arabian Nights.
The latest conspiracy theory that is making the rounds and which I am beginning to believe, sort of, is the one highlighted by the recent Qala incident. Maltese is a lovely language and Qala does sound a bit like the Maltese word for vomiting, which the participants in this story make me feel like doing.
Malta is a magnificently located platform which – if only the inhabitants who live there could vanish or shut up – would be razed to the ground
As though in accordance with a plan, an extravagant and unlikely-to-succeed project is sent to the ‘independent-in-name-only’ Planning Authority.
The board of this authority, or the majority thereof who represent the present government, sang according to the hymn book provided to them from one of the oligarchs, of which there are a definite number in Malta and Gozo. They all follow the same method. They must be in bed with politicians who nominate the boards because they propose the most obscene projects and infallibly get these approved.
There are so many of these that it is quite obvious what is happening. The oligarchs and politicians with whom they work, or whom they front for, have decided – so the conspiracy theory goes – that Malta, located as it is in this latitude and being an independent country within the EU, cannot be left for the locals to enjoy.
Malta is, in reality, a magnificently located platform which – if only the inhabitants who live there could vanish or shut up – would be razed to the ground and rebuilt as high-rise condos in a Dubai or Miami Beach style. These would be sold, rented or exchanged for other favours, in this way making the oligarchs and those standing in the shadows behind them extremely rich.
There is only one snag, albeit small. The local citizenry must be silenced, bribed or frightened for them to get out of the way of the bulldozers, cranes and concrete.
Qala – that word again, making me sick – is a perfect example. Push something disgusting as far as it will go, raise an outcry, then give in and fire or force to resign all those members who normally try to apply reason and try to represent the pesky citizens who dare grumble or protest.
While all are staring at Qala and almost rejoicing at the tiniest of victories when the magnanimous oligarch decides to pull the application back, a number of larger, more obscene and horrible destructions happen behind our backs, and the oligarch, and others like him who unfortunately lose a bid, are compensated with many other projects in St Julian’s, Sannat and Dingli Cliffs.
More and more Maltese and Gozitans get disgusted and, after fighting for a year or two or five, begin to give up and a large number have begun to buy property in Sicily, Tuscany, Puglia etc to get away from the noise, dust and corruption of Malta.
By doing that, by leaving the playground, they are letting the bullies get away with it. This is the ultimate objective of the bully. Scare away the protestors, bribe the citizens ready to take bribes and frighten the others away.
Then the American University of Malta may stop the charade of being called a university and become the Cottonera Condo, the Żonqor Seaview apartments and the flatlet on Senglea gate.
The Egrant owners can cash in more and more 17 Black money and the oligarchs can build their Dubai-like structures on the lovely platform that once was Malta.
If the latest gossip about Dingli Cliffs is right and something large like a huge hotel or a series of villas and maisonettes along the highest ridge in Malta is secretly being planned by these conspirators, then and then only can we believe in conspiracy theories.
Until then, let us continue to fight the ‘independent bodies’, the ‘independent courts’, the ‘independent’ Planning Authority, the ‘independent’ FIAU, the ‘independent’ Gaming Board... If we do not, our fairy tale will not have a happy ending like 1001 Arabian Nights; the Caliph will not fall in love with and forgive Scheherazade once she runs out of tales. In our case, truth and justice will one day prevail, and the conspirators will receive their just punishment.
John Vassallo is a former ambassador.