Offering pain to Baby Jesus

Like many others, I followed the trial by jury of the Gozo murder case. Like many I was shocked by what the family went through: a life in fear - as though held hostage by a terrorist. As I read, I asked myself, but is it possible that these people never told anyone? Never asked for help?

And then, like many others, I read that the woman had actually spoken to a priest and that he had told her to wait until they had a child so that maybe things would get better. I threw the paper out of my sight in anger. How could something as serious as this get off so lightly?

The priest had effectively told her to hang on. To continue to be beaten. To live a life of sexual abuse. The advise was that a new-born child could free her from being a hostage. So they had a child. And then they had murder.

If the priest had been qualified to speak he may have given the right advice. Maybe her husband would have seen a psychologist, a councillor or a social worker. Maybe their lives would have been better. Maybe her son would not have reached the point of having to kill his own father in self-defence.

What would that priest have said had the woman turned up again in confession and said: "Look, father, I took your advice. I had a baby. Now he's grown up and killed his father"? Would he have advised them to be quiet about it and to offer the pain to Baby Jesus?

Of course, there are some priests who are qualified to give advice in such situations. But simply being a priest does not mean one is qualified to give such advice. It is a serious abuse of position when priests who are neither qualified nor able to help interfere in such a situation.

Most journalists have met women who sought help and who spoke about the time they were physically abused. What strikes me is how often they have said: "When I used to go to the priest in confession he used to tell me to hang on in there and to offer the pain to Jesus to make up for my sins".

And then they recount how their husbands would start to beat their children too. And how their children would grow up to beat them and their wives. And all along, the women are quietly offering the pain to Jesus!

We seem to have this idea that a priest is qualified to act as a councillor or a psychologist. If somebody were to pose as a doctor, criminal action would be taken against him. Yet, if a priest poses as a psychologist, social worker or councillor, then that seems to be ok.

It's a shame. It's a shame because I do know many priests who are indeed qualified. It's a shame that such bad advice continues to be given by the others. It's a shame that the Curia has remained silent on this issue.