Pumping irony

OFCOM (Office of Communication) is the independent regulator and competition authority for the UK communications industries. The responsibilities of this media watchdog lie across television, radio, telecommunications and wireless communications services, because on December 29, 2003, it had replaced five existing regulators; the Broadcasting Standards Commission (BSC), the Independent Television Commission (ITC), Oftel, the Radio Authority and the Radiocommunications Agency. It's "their" Broadcasting Authority, with bells on.

This week it was up in arms against the "steady diet of cartoons (60 per cent), repeats (10,339 shown in 2006), and American TV (SpongeBob SquarePants)" that was being fed to British children, creating an artificial dearth of home-grown products that enhance the British way of life.

Ironically, the shows that were most watched in 2006 had been British ones - Jackie Wilson's creation Tracy Beaker, Blue Peter (before the rot set in) and Newsround.

The report states that drama and factual programmes have been mostly dropped from schedules because they are too expensive to make, and that 'tweens fared worst because very little output was tailored for them.

These days, perhaps, not many children would be fascinated by Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men, Pinky and Perky, or Basil Brush.

The upshot of this is that Ofcom is examining a number of proposals to improve children's programming - and this is similar to an exercise the Broadcasting Authority is undertaking.

Incidentally, on September 29, the Nickelodeon cable network gave kids three hours of dead air - on purpose - so that they could go outside and play. The idea was a part of the "Let's Just Play Go Healthy Challenge" the network launched in conjunction with the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, which is an ongoing programme meant to encourage children to get a move on, rather than couch-cabbaging.

Nearly 800,000 children have made their promise on the Alliance Website to do their personal best to fight childhood obesity.

This was the fourth Annual Worldwide Day of Play to have been organised - and, ironically, whereas some of the children interviewed in a magazine article did not seem to mind it, some parents and carers did, because they intimated that "at least" children who were watching television were safe" inside a house.

On spec, I decided to write to the producers of children's programmes on E22, to see what was being offered. I was met by either an abysmal lack of interest, or a lackadaisical attitude; some presenters promised to get back to me with further details - but had not done so by Friday morning (my deadline).

The only thing I know for sure is that StageKids, presented by Leontine and with the participation of Miriam Christine (and produced by Beverly Saliba) will be hosting children from all over the republic, who are involved in singing, dance, music and theatre.

Joyce Grech will be co-ordinating YES, a co-production of Sedqa and San Gwann Primary 'A' School, St Bernadette. It will be presented by Claudine Portelli and Anton Falzon, and as the name indicates, it intends teaching children how to say yes to the positive values in life, and indeed to life itself, while tackling topics like peer pressure, self esteem, feelings, and so on.

Wednesday nights are Joe Chetcuti overkill at TVM. His makeover programme Arani Issa! is immediately followed by his other one, Din Malta Taghna. Another glitch in the synopses of whoever compiled this schedule, maybe?

Not many people knew who Swedish broadcaster Eva Nazemson was before she was propelled to fame by happenstance. While she was hosting Nattliv, a late night phone-in game show on TV4 Plus, she vomited live on air - and disappeared from the screen, only to bounce back a few seconds later, without even having had time to gargle out the acrid taste from her mouth. She put the incident down to menstrual cramps.

This, to some people, was a display of professionalism, the hackneyed 'show must go on' adage (the station administration even presented her with a bouquet of flowers after the show). To some of us, however, it means that she was on automatic pilot; which might not have been bad at all, given the circumstances.

As from this schedule, the Socio-Religious programmes Haddiehor, on Net Television (live on Sundays from 12 to 1.30 p.m.) has taken a different tack towards the interpretation of the Bible.

This series is tackling a Bible passage and offering all the relevant background information to it, but is forging one step further by interpreting the scenario in modern-day terms. This includes a first-person experience. Viewers will also have the chance to offer their two cents' worth through a vox-pop, SMSs, and phone-ins. Resident guests will be Fr Marcello Ghirlando, OFM, and Dr Mark Xuereb, psychiatrist.

For some reason, one of the best local sports programmes ever, Line Up, which had been screened on TVM for the past three seasons, has now been slotted on E22 on Sunday evenings. Does it get a repeat on TVM, one wonders?

Guaranteed to catch the interest even of those who do not like sports, Catherine Xuereb and Chris Cauchi spotlight local football (mainly the BOV Premier League), and provide comprehensive analysis by the resident technical analyst, guests, Clubs officials and players too.

Other so-called 'minor' sports besides football will also be featured; so aficionados of rugby, car racing, bodybuilding, netball, handball, waterpolo, snooker, hockey, baseball, wrestling, will surely find something for them in this two-hour chock-full programme. The production team can be contacted by e-mail at lineup@onvol.net.

television@timesofmalta.com