Old age is a negative thought for many. This is mostly because society and media divert us off the true nature of getting old and its benefits. Few therefore see it as something that has any positive aspects to it.
It is a fact that we are all in line to leave this world at some point, and if we had a choice, we would either choose to exit this life at a young age and thus avoid old age, or else live for longer and leave when old but with somewhat challenged bodies. Either way, we just have to go.
Now, let’s see the benefits of being old or approaching old age... Indeed, many do not even realise that there are any benefits at all.
Over the years, one accumulates many experiences which are necessary for us to grow, hopefully wiser. These entail sacrifices, toil, disappointments and betrayals, with all their wear and tear on our systems. If we manage to glide through them thanks to the strength of our youth, they still create some stress and sleepless nights in the process.
Even the good times leave a trail of wear and tear on our systems. As change is inevitable in life, such good times often turn sour, one way or another, leaving some sort of heartache in their wake.
When young, one lives compulsively through the demands of our hormones. In the excitement of youth, we may find ourselves entangled in some unsavoury situations. However, in old age, we know better and act consciously, with more awareness and sensibility.
One may say ‘Who wants to live sensibly? Better to be free-spirited!’ Well, that may have its consequences, as many will tend to admit.
When one is true to oneself, it is a fact that the process of growing up is stressful, with the need to fit in, learning how to act in various situations, hoping one is accepted (and perhaps not being bullied for not complying with one’s mates) and thinking of what future one should aspire to in life. All this is not an easy matter to go through.
Then there are the middle years of raising a family or going to work for years on end to a disciplined time schedule to make ends meet, often enduring a job that is boring, depleting and does nothing to one’s creative nature.
The media also affects our perspective on how we should live our life to be ‘happy’. In our youthful mentality we get sucked into the grind of fashion, shopping, materialism, lifestyles, comparisons and jealousies these entail. We may not admit to such behaviour but it can be subtly present in our psyche and eating us away during the onslaught of this rat race.
Embracing old age sensibly is indeed a liberation from the constricting times of raising families or demanding jobs
So how does old age compete with all of this? Hopefully, we can see through the illusion of the above, the energy spent on superficial things – and hopefully get wiser by time. In old age, we are liberated from such needs to please others and have time to tend to what really makes us personally fulfilled without the need for approval from anyone. We can stand tall and strong in our choices. We start to be happy, to let go of certain attitudes we had in the past and be more compassionate, less judgemental and more understanding to others who are still struggling with their journeys.
Embracing old age sensibly is indeed a liberation from the constricting times of raising families or demanding jobs. It is time to tend to our needs, accepting our ageing body with all its flaws, knowing that it is the price of having survived a long life – and not died young!
Octogenarian film director Elio Lombardi (left) is still full of zest for life. Here the author caught up with his enthusiasm and ventured into acting in her twilight years.The Japanese have a concept called wabi-sabi, where they cherish cracked, tarnished or old matter as having a more authentic quality to it, having gone through the rigours of life. So, a wrinkled face on a person is considered a quality to be admired as it has gone through life experiences that enhanced one’s character and, therefore, is worth appreciating.
In old age it is time to appreciate time alone and savour it, especially when connecting with nature. It is a special relationship with our true inner being, away from the drama of life going on out there. Tending to some plants or pets gets us in touch with nature’s true bounty where there are no expectations − and a letting go of egos. Just being who you are is something not everyone is able to get to grips with. But when you do, it is liberating indeed.
Exploring new interests without the heaviness of expectations for exams or approvals is encouraged in old age. Checking one’s nutrition and keeping up with some exercise like walking or swimming also helps in maintaining a healthy, physical body as much as possible.
An odd, leisurely chat over a coffee with a friend or two is precious too, as is a nurturing living environment and surroundings that feel welcoming and soothing. Adopting a simple lifestyle also helps towards an inducive easy-going way of living – with a less cluttered and maintenance-free home.
Whereas before, when young, we used to think it was a waste of time to have spells of time doing nothing, now such time is precious as it keeps you in touch with your true self and able to savour life in one’s solitude. This is different than being lonely. Solitude is a skill to be encouraged as otherwise we would never be in touch with who we really are.
All this takes a long journey and, therefore, old age is something to be cherished for its particular gifts. It invites us to a gentle winding up of a life well cherished.
With such an attitude, approaching death should not be a nightmare but a graceful exit to our next stage to the beyond…
Mary Attard, freelance writer and photographer