Half of all children interviewed in a survey on  the relationship between adolescents and their parents in Malta asked for more time with their parents and wished they listened to them more, a research conference was told today.

The conference was organised by the Centre for Family Studies under the patronage of President George Abela.

A presentation on the research was delivered by Prof Angela Abela, director of the centre, Dr Ruth Farrughia (senior lecturer at the Faculty of Laws and a board member of the centre,  Marita Galea (counselling psychologist) and family lawyer Deborah Schembri.

The research was inspired by other research published in the HBSC (Health Behaviour in School-Aged Children), carried out in 2008, which found that Maltese adolescents had a low degree of trust in their parents when compared to adolescents in 40 other countries.

When it came to trust between a mother and her children, Maltese 11-year-olds ranked 34th, 13-year-olds were in 37th place and 15-year-olds were in the 36th place. The relationship between a father and his children was found to be weaker still, with fathers ranking in 40th place at the bottom of the list.

In the latest survey, four types of families were interviewed: non-distressed distressed, with parents separated consensually, and separated contentiously.

In non-distressed families, parents were found to be able to reflect on how their upbringing influenced their parenting and the effect their behaviour was having on their children. They said that pressure on children and coercion discouraged sharing  There was a high level of congruence between different members of the family regarding other experiences of the relationship, even when the picture was not ideal.

In distressed families, wives were unhappy when the husbands behaved in a domineering way or belittled them.

Many mothers ended up over-identifying with their children. Fathers were often not aware of the extent of the negative impact on their wives and children. Children tended to confide more in their mother and evaluated the consequences before they confided.

In families where the parents separated amicably, the majority of both parents interviewed were cohabiting or in a new relationship. Some mothers felt distressed and found it difficult to cope n their own or felt overburdened with financial and parenting responsibilities.  The majority of fathers looked forward to spending time with their children. Some mothers feared that because fathers ended up going the fun bits, children would be more attracted to them.  Children wished to spend time with their parents on their own, as opposed to their parents with their new partners.

In the case of parents who separated contentiously, a strong theme of loss or abandonment by one of the parents prevailed.

Most parents asked or more support from school. They also wished for more professional help especially family therapy as well as a network of friends who were in the same stage of the family life cycle and who were going through the same challenges with their children. Some fathers were found to need to be empowered to take on the relatively new role of adopting a arm and supportive relationship with their children.

Both parents and children complained that pressure of work did not leave them enough time together. The need for flexi time was particularly requested by separated parents. Financial pressures were also highlighted.