Some single parents who share custody of their children may be using restrictions and guidelines issued in the COVID-19 crisis as a means to restrict access to children from their other parent, a parental alienation advocacy group has warned.

Anthony Cauchi, who founded the group Happy Parenting for Happier Children, said the problem is largely being faced by fathers whose children primarily reside with mothers.

In the chaos that COVID-19 has fuelled, the rights of fathers to see their children had fallen by the wayside.

“During this time, it’s more or less been the unspoken rule that children are staying put with their primary parent,” Cauchi said.

“But I know of many fathers who are sitting at home, some without jobs, who would relish to use this time to take care of their children and bond with them.”

With more pressing priorities and the courts at a standstill, fathers are at the mercy of the goodwill of their ex-partners to see their children.

“In cases where separated parents are raising their children amicably, this is all well and good. The problem is this is not the case for the majority,” Cauchi said.

Some ex-partners had taken the lack of oversight from the usual authority to further restrict access to children, Cauchi claimed, by refusing to allow contact through social media.

Emotional abuse

“One member told me his ex had informed him it wouldn’t be possible for him to Skype his child because it would use up all her data. Some of the excuses we’re hearing to prevent men from being good fathers are unbelievable,” he said.

Cauchi also said that while aid measures announced by the government catered for single parents, it didn’t take into account parents who only had partial custody of their children. 

“In a way, this could be a perfect opportunity for children to spend time with the parent they don’t get to see that often. But the way things have been handled, it enforces the idea that even in shared custody agreements, children should remain with their mothers as a default,” Cauchi noted.

Happy Parenting for Happier Children runs a support group for parents experiencing parental alienation, which is often defined as a child becoming estranged from a parent as a result of psychological manipulation at the hands of the other parent.

Cauchi said the majority of parents affected tend to be men, but around 20 per cent of women are also subject.

“It’s important for fathers to have an active role in their children’s lives and harming that bond has so many negative consequences,” Cauchi said.

“These circumstances are unprecedented but just this week I had a father come to me to say ‘I’m paying €700 a month after losing my job and my daughter isn’t even allowed to call me’. It’s like being erased from your child’s life.

“I shouldn’t have to spend thousands on legal fees and lay myself at the mercy of the court just to see my child. It’s psychological and emotional abuse.”