The government was working furiously yesterday to respond to the latest scandal to rock the country. The Prime Minister, the Minister for Finance and even the President’s Office issued statements designed to reassure the population that all was well.
The issue emerged over the past few days as affected individuals and organisations contacted this newspaper and various national bodies to report a major difficulty. It appears that anyone attempting to use a Maltese- or Gozitan-manufactured ruler to draw a straight line found it impossible to do so.
Upon beginning to draw such a line, all seemed straightforward and clear. But, in using the ruler to draw, things became less clear. The line, when finally finished, turned out to be crooked, often wildly so. Many of those encountering this difficulty argued that it now seemed impossible to draw a straight line using local methods.
Further research revealed that the problem is affecting all walks of life and many business sectors across Malta. Construction, health, hospitality, retail, fisheries, agriculture, and education are all impacted. Even something as straightforward and simple as disability payments and driving licenses were affected by this "crookedness" problem.
Last night, official sources suggested that there could be three explanations for this phenomenon. One, the rulers are defective by design and are incapable of delivering a straight line. Two, those making use of such rulers are misusing them, possibly deliberately. Three, some suggestions have been made that "third country nationals" are interfering with local designs or may have even introduced their own rulers.
Investigations are underway but Malta’s police refused to confirm anything.
Responding yesterday, a clearly agitated Prime Minister insisted there simply was no problem – Malta’s rulers were just doing their jobs as intended. He went further arguing that this is simply how rulers have always worked here. His "customer care" unit had checked and confirmed this; other ministers’ units concurred.
The PM insisted that these devices were designed for "unique local conditions and traditions" and have always been used. Anyone who disagreed, he declared was either a PN or civil society stooge, devious and most likely intent on damaging Malta – "to attack Malta’s rulers is to attack Malta itself", he declaimed.
Malta’s former PM agreed, adding that dark and undefined "hidden vested interests" were likely involved in what has been dubbed "rulergate". He vigorously declared that he had nothing whatsoever to do with defective rulers, he had always worked assiduously to keep all rulers "straight".
The Minister for Finance rowed into the debate indicating that things could not be allowed to remain the same. Change was both desirable and needed but such change would not be imminent. "Maltese people are used to working with these rulers" and to bring about change too quickly could "ruin everything".
It might even undermine the successes the government had worked so hard to achieve. New rulers might well be urgently needed but it will take time for the population to come to judgement and action on that. Malta clearly needed to move up the value chain of rulers and reduce dependence on one-dimensional traditional and low-value rulers.
Following multiple requests to the President to intervene, his office issued a statement saying such matters were not constitutional but that he is considering establishing a forum where the specifically "Maltese" character of rulers could be debated. He indicated he was consulting with a panel of Maltese ruler experts and might comment further sometime.
In response to this latest scandal, One TV reported last night that there was a lovely flower show in Gżira, a bus broke down in Ċirkewwa and Malta was pipped at the post for victory in the latest round of the European tiddledywinks championship.
The government was at pains to try to draw a line beneath this issue and move on as it has other pressing matters that demand its attention.