The hilarious 1970s BBC sitcom Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em was a caricature of an accident-prone young man who left home unprepared to face the real world, which most adults must navigate daily.
There are, of course, still many Frank Spencer clones around. But today, most parents nearing pensionable age have to deal with smart Generation Y and Z children who still struggle to become independent and feel proud of their status in society.
The greying baby boom generation had a tough time to have a good start in life in the first two decades after the end of World War II. Their expectations were modest. A job with a salary of seven pounds (about €20) a week was a dream that not all young people achieved in their 50s and 60s. Only the well-off could afford a car, and designer clothes were out of reach for most people. Yet they were happy because they believed that life could only get better.
One of the biggest mistakes that baby boomers made when they had their children was perpetuating the belief that the future could only get better and that their sons and daughters would even be better off. For most, this proved to be a fallacy. So, young people today are finding new ways of adjusting to the new normality, which is characterised by high unemployment and underemployment in some EU countries, unaffordable housing, and a high cost of living independently.
Some resort to interest-free ‘loans’ with no fixed repayment programme from the Bank of Mum and Dad. Parents who put aside some money every year to cope in case of a ‘rainy day’ are finding that they have to use these little treasures to help their children buy a house of their own.
Parents nearing retirement age must be aware that living longer often necessitates building up bigger reserves to avoid poverty in the last decade or two of their lives
Other parents help out with the weekly living expenses bills of their children who have flown the nest only to realise that they cannot cope with the school fees, grocery bills, and the other bills that come through the post regularly.
Most young people treasure their independence and do not hesitate to leave home at a relatively young age to live in a flat alone or with their partner. Theoretically, being independent means having to pay your bills, do your washing, and buy the necessities for daily living.
In reality, many young ‘independent’ people living alone use their parents’ home as a free laundry, a decent restaurant serving homemade food and a friendly bank branch when needing a bridging loan until the next salary hits their bank account. Most parents, especially mothers, are more than happy to provide these free services to their children.
A growing phenomenon in most EU countries is that more young people are taking longer to leave home and live independently simply because they cannot afford to pay for such living. The Italians often call these young people ‘mammoni’ or ‘mummy’s boys’. I do not think this is a fair label to stick to young people who find it hard to assume independence because current economic conditions make it hard for them to live independently.
These trends that are developing in most European societies have some advantages. The lack of significant economic growth in Europe risks obliterating a whole generation of young people who either cannot find work, end up working in precarious conditions, or take a job that is in no way connected with their educational qualifications.
Most parents are proving to be an effective safety net that is keeping their children from ending up on a human scrap heap in a world where finding a well-paid job is beyond the reach of many. However, there is another aspect to these trends.
Many parents nearing retirement age are discovering that their nest eggs have been smashed due to constantly having to use their savings to support their children financially for a good start in life. With state pensions in most countries being hardly adequate to guarantee a decent standard of living, many older people are struggling to cope with the costs of living in old age.
Parents nearing retirement age must be aware that living longer often necessitates building up bigger reserves to avoid poverty in the last decade or two of their lives.
The younger generations face formidable challenges today, and I can understand why so many are not so optimistic about the future. So, intergenerational solidarity is a sign of a mature society where parents support their children well beyond their legal obligations.