Soul survivors

"mur 'l hemm!"

The words rang out, loud and clear, on Radju Malta 2 last Monday at noon. But this time, at least, it wasn't someone mistakenly assuming that the microphones were off, as happened to Lilian Maistre and her studio guest last Wednesday morning.

It was just the pseudo-conversation between a woman and her husband (such courteousness), during which Giorinox cookery ware is extolled. Bexxaq ir-radju, Sinjura.

Many parents, including those who are trying to follow well-meaning advice to wean children off television, try to encourage them to listen to the radio instead, if they won't take up a book for love or money.

One of the programmes that ought to educate as well as entertain, on Radju Malta 1, is Tifkiriet (the November 5 edition). So imagine my surprise when, despite the delay system, a caller included the name of the Almighty in what he had to say, simply because he couldn't remember a minor detail of his intended monologue.

When the presenter got off automatic pilot, he simply said "please mind your language," but by then the man had rambled on and insisted that he had not uttered one single untoward word.

To add insult to injury, the presenter also allowed the said caller to sully the memory of someone whose relatives are still living, and, for all they know, acknowledge the same family nickname. For shame. Dak il-marelli radju, Sinjura.

Another person who ought to wipe egg off his/her face is the person who provides Stephanie Spiteri with questions for Ghada nibda zgur. I refer, specifically, to the one asking which type of alcohol - wine or whisky - Muslims may not drink.

This, mind, was not given as a catch question, for the answer was 'whisky'. Read my lips; Muslims may not touch any type of alcohol - even when it comes in the Cointreau-like tasting sponge cake-based prepacked desserts. They may not even eat food where alcohol has been used in its preparation, albeit it would have evaporated.

Another thing - in a recent edition of the programme the guests kept giggling inanely and incessantly, which was both irritating and rude. If people cannot behave themselves on camera, why do they accept invitations to be there?

Some time ago, we were asked to provide nominations with regard to people who deserved an award for their particular type of Customer Care (capitals mine). Who were those nominated? How many of them were there? Why we were not informed about these niceties?

Many people, like me, feel uncomfortable when the people to whom they are talking saunter to and fro behind them. They have to shift position continuously, and eye contact is extremely difficult. Whose idea was it that Ms Spiteri must take her constitutional exercise onscreen?

Meanwhile, we have it on record that the spanking new chairman of PBS, Andrew Agius Muscat, said that one ought not to make a huge fuss about the appointment (or not? I add) of a new Head of News for the Station of the Nation.

Did you hear the one about the politically correct camerapersons, the mechanic, and the antenna engineer? It seems that they died and went to heaven, and ...

The battering of the language goes on; Kristu irrezurizza lilu nnifsu. Lemhu kadavru... li kien ghadu gej. Ikollhom lacking fir-reading. L-abjad fix-xaghar ikun pessimist.

What does it take to get gabbling newscasters to apologise rather than try to muddle through? The word anzi is often used in this context, rather as if, when they say Anthony Debono anzi Anthony Debattista, they are actually complimenting the latter on being somehow 'better' than the former. This type of reasoning would be hilarious were it not pathetic.

This week, for instance, we had Yasser Arafat jinsab f'Ruma, anzi f'koma...with no apology forthcoming.

I think it is really silly of people - especially females - wear bits of habille that (un)cover parts of their anatomy, and spend several moments pulling here, lifting there, tucking in this, and rearranging that, and contorting themselves when they have to sit down or lean across a table?

Many people, rather than playing the odds at lotto, find it easier to try televoting. The majority, of course, never win. How are the lucky ones chosen? The answers here are not picked upon their originality, surely.

Hector Bruno, in one fell swoop and in a couple of bus rides, has managed to irk deeply those public servants in the Messenger grade who pull their weight and then some.

What would the reaction have been, had his character been presented as a head of department who was promoted because he is a habib ta' habib, with RSI from using his cellular telephone all day, every day?

I find it, moreover, irritating that the characters who are set up as the butt of audio- or visual-jokes, always appear to have some kind of challenge; included in this statement is the character in a play on Super One TV, with lenses as thick as the proverbial bottle-bottoms.

Speaking of 'friends', I see that Maltasong might probably have to change its name, seeing that 'il-barrani' can now take part in the Malta edition of Song for Europe.

So how long will it be before the foreign media intrude into the Malta Journalism Awards if the work has been published/broadcast locally?

Well might Linda (Red, Net Television) ask Min huma l-"Blues"? referring to the genre, rather than to the attitude or the emotion.