Strike the right attitude for closer ties with school

Mariella Grech, president of the Association of Parents of Children in Church Schools, writes about how parents can communicate better and work more closely with their child's school. This is part two of a three-part, back-to-school series.

If, during the last decade or so, schools and educators were squabbling over the wisdom of allowing parents to literally cross the school threshold and to become active participants in the educational process of their children at school, nowadays, the goal-posts have shifted.

For no longer is it a question of "Should parental involvement in church schools be allowed?" But rather "How can the communication lines between parents and teachers, between home and school be bridged and further improved upon for the ultimate benefit of the child, parent, teacher, and school?"

In most Church schools, involved parents are trusted; their opinions listened to and at times, acted upon; also they are given the necessary leeway in the organisation of their many fund-raising and sports activities. In a few schools, parents may be treated with more caution.

However, from years of personal experience working with Church schools, I strongly feel that if parents demonstrate the right attitude; if they show that they are ready to work hand-in-hand with teachers and heads of school in what some educators have come to call a "triangle of care" - a new kind of partnership between parents and professionals with the interests of the child at its centre - these parents will, no doubt, become more involved at school, by way of their time, skills and talents.

Needless to say, it is crucial for parents to start off, from day one, on the right foot in their relations with school administrators, for first impressions speak words!

By adopting this right attitude, parents will eventually acquire a sense of belonging to the school, which is a good thing. True, this comes with time and with reciprocal respect between parents, teachers and the school head, and ultimately with proving one's worth. But parents can work at this idea by attending as many school-organised activities as possible, whether spiritual gatherings, forums, sports days, school fairs, or PTA-organised dinners, rather than restrict their attendance merely to parents' days and school concerts.

It might also help if all through the child's various stages of development, parents keep abreast of current educational issues not merely through reading widely but also by voicing their opinion at seminars organised by parent associations such as the APCCS and similar associations, where topics under discussion can vary from the dangers of the internet to life-long learning, parental involvement, Matsec exams, portfolios, the father's role in a child's education and disability issues.

The ideal parents, I feel, are those who are friendly, helpful and communicative; who, if need be, beg to differ from opposing views to their own; who are not pushy, interfering or too demanding; who try not to be unnecessarily antagonistic or even worse, take a laid-back attitude of passive indifference offering only negative criticism. After all, when problems arise, they can always be discussed with respect, honesty, and above all, a positive outlook.

Also, parents would do well to keep regular communication with the class teacher and with the school authorities, informing those concerned at the earliest of any child concerns, grievances or issues that might affect a child's performance, be they health-related (such as asthma), physical or educational (hearing or learning difficulties), special needs, behavioural or family traumas/problems. For such information leads to a better mutual understanding in the teacher-child relationship.

Parents should also remember to exercise prudence at all times including fixing an appointment with the child's teacher beforehand, rather than barge their way into school early in the morning unexpectedly and expect to be listened to instantly.

Also care should be taken not to make every encounter with a child's teacher an opportunity to talk about personal problems especially at social activities organised by the school or its PTA.

Parents should support the work that goes on in the classroom but should help their child with homework only when asked. Also, when volunteering help towards their child's school, they should not expect unfair favouritism towards their child by way of unmerited prizes, or unmerited attention in class and school activities. Unfortunately, the knife cuts at both ends and children of PTA members can also be wrongly accused by parents of being unfairly rewarded when the children do in fact merit it.

One difficulty parents might have in home/school communication is to be mature enough to accept negative criticism about their child/children (if substantially based on facts). Our children might not always be such perfect high-fliers as we might imagine them to be!

Talking about parental responsibilities in Church schools, one cannot fail to mention the urgent need for parents to fulfil their financial contributions responsibly, irrespective of whether other parents do the same or are careless about them, especially in this day and age of high parental expectations about their child's school. At the end of the day, if through such contributions the school is a better place to be in, with its fully equipped computer room, gym, library, science laboratory, home economics room, turf football pitch, tennis courts, swimming pool or concert hall with a sound system to boast of, it is ultimately the students themselves who will be the first to benefit from them.

Parents should be regularly informed about all activities happening at school preferably not just through school circulars sent with the children, (which can sometimes get mislaid), but rather perhaps through home-school diaries, school magazines, class or school web pages, e-mails, websites and even by word of mouth.

In conclusion, when talking about the Church school milieu, it is vital to remember that parents, while purporting to serve as exemplary role models for their children, should also strongly support the school administrators in preserving both the identity and character of the respective Church schools, among other things by cherishing all-time values like religious principles, honesty, solidarity with the less fortunate, responsibility for one's actions and finally the importance of making good decisions.