Along with her tennis partner Elaine Genovese, Francesca Curmi has just won silver at the Mediterranean Games – a first for the country. Her mother, SARAH CURMI, tells Fiona Galea Debono about the long journey to sporting success and the family sacrifices along the way.

When tennis mum Sarah Curmi landed in Malta after leaving her 12-year-old with a host family to pursue her professional coaching in Serbia, the first thing she found was a series of missed calls from her daughter begging to come home.

And the hardest thing was not catching the next flight and, instead, urging the young Francesca Curmi to try it out.

Eight years later, Sarah looks back and wonders if she would do the same “crazy” thing again.

“I do not know what I was thinking,” she admits, as she talks about the road of sacrifices that led to her daughter’s tennis success.

It has been “an extremely tough journey for the whole family”, she concedes, even though this has, ultimately, translated into Francesca’s recent international triumphs on the court.

Back then, the teen did not know the language, or anyone, and, in hindsight, it was “all very quick and we did not really think it through”, her mother says.

“Maybe, I would not have sent her alone.”

In between guilt pangs and doubts about decisions, Curmi said it was impossible to accompany her daughter at the time.

“As a mother, I felt guilty, torn between my family here, my daughter there and my work. It was extremely hard,” she said.

“You do not know if you have made the right choices. You do not know how they could impact your child.”

The three-year move to Serbia was the ‘obvious’ next step in the advancement of the gifted tennis player’s training but Curmi still qualifies her leaving as “the biggest sacrifice as a parent”.

It broke up the family and dented her closeness to her sibling, who suffered due to the separation.

Today, a life of family sacrifices is paying off and Francesca’s successes include a good spell as a junior player, ranking 50th among under-18s worldwide and qualifying for Grand Slam tournaments.

This year, she has played around 55 matches with a 75 per cent win rate and won two professional tournaments, reaching two back-to-back finals on the women’s pro tour.

She recently won a silver medal in women’s doubles with partner Elaine Genovese at the Mediterranean Games, a first for Malta in tennis.

Francesca now ranks no. 709 at a senior level worldwide, rising from 1,300, out of thousands of players.

A learning curve for tennis mums too

It is a learning curve for parents too: “When you start out on this long journey, you can get caught up in the hype of tournaments, ranking and points at a very young age and can start applying pressure too early,” Curmi points out.

“In reality, they should get to enjoy the sport and other things while still working at it.

“There are children who got burnout by 13 and are now nowhere on the professional tour,” Curmi added.

“Deep down, I know that, as a tennis parent, I fell into the trap. I would be watching a match and reacting heavily. But a child absorbs and reflects everything you are feeling, including your anxiety.

“They could have worked hard and not play well for some reason and you get angry at them.

“They are still developing, so if you are nervous before a match, they take the cue and will be too,” Curmi says.

“Today, I do not react. I know that it is not helpful. I have learnt it is all about positive reinforcement.”

Following a competitive influence

Francesca comes from a family of tennis enthusiasts on her dad’s side – from her great-grandmother down to her aunt, who was a professional player.

This, coupled with her athletic and “extremely competitive” mother, formerly on the national volleyball team, meant she was inclined to take up the sport seriously.

Her parents’ strong influence has played a role in getting her to where she is today, as is the case with many professional sports people.

The first time Francesca was taken to a tennis court with her new racket, aged five, she was keener on observing the ants around her, her mother recalls.

“We could not say she was obsessed with tennis... other youths were more inclined towards the sport at her age,” her parents thought of her apparent disinterest.

But, a year later, when she started lessons, her coaches said she was “a natural”, had potential and the ball began to roll.

“That is when the competitive nature of a parent kicks in.

“At six, a kid does not really have that streak,” Curmi explains.

From then on, Francesca would spend weekends hitting balls with her parents at the Marsa Club, while other children played and had fun.

“We would buy buckets of balls, wake up early on Saturdays and Sundays and hit them for hours.

“Her younger sibling, now 17, hates tennis and us for dragging her along and making her spend her youth waiting around for her sister to play,” Curmi recalls, adding the weekend activity was a sacrifice for the parents too.

Growing stronger

Fast-forward a few years and the “big move” to Serbia was made when the Serbian husband of a friend, who used to coach at Nick Bollettieri Academy in Rome, set up his own club and suggested she visit.

Before they knew it, he proposed she move permanently, having recognised a “fighting spirit” in Francesca.

Without much thought, Francesca left life as she knew it in Malta and started to live with a family she did not know and restrictions she was not used to. 

“At home, she used to wear a pair of jeans and throw them for the wash. Now, they would be pulled back out of the linen basket and she was told to wear them at least three times,” Curmi relates about the little differences that served to make Francesca stronger and learn the value of money.

“Francesca was not allowed to phone after 9pm, which was hard because at night she missed us most and struggled to sleep.”

Two years later, her father, Michael decided to join her in Serbia, which was tough on the rest of the family back home.

“She is not an only child, so it was not easy on her siblings,” said Curmi, whose husband had to cut down on his own work.

Curmi had just had a third child, who was just six months when Francesca left and hardly knows her; her 10-year-old had reservations that everything revolved around her sister; while she, a partner at Deloitte, juggled the children and her full-on career alone.

The experience helped her grow into a stronger person.

She learned the language, which helped her integrate, developed independence at a young age and is still conscientious.

All on the parents

Throughout the journey, Francesca has had to forgo birthdays, Christmas and holidays as her life has been centred around tennis; planning a family trip remains almost impossible.

Parents, part of the team, finance physical and tennis coaches, sports psychologists and nutritionists.

In Malta, unlike larger countries, where talented players are typically handpicked and supported by national associations that take them under their wing, this is all on the parents, Curmi points out.

On international tours, she has noticed players’ families are often professional athletes themselves, with a knowledge of what to do, which she feels makes a difference.

What we see is, generally, the success, the trophies and the glamour not so much what it takes to get there, the financial needs, the toll on the family and the sacrifice

A good word of advice

Her advice to parents of aspiring professional athletes is to try and get as much information and understanding of the “journey” as possible.

“What we see is, generally, the success, the trophies and the glamour not so much what it takes to get there, the financial needs, the toll on the family and the sacrifice,” she says.

“Speak to people who have been through it and go for it with eyes wide open.

“Be prepared not to necessarily succeed. It is not like studying to be a doctor; you do your exams and you get there.

“You can have the skills, train hard, invest money but things do not align.”

Curmi has also learned that a parent must never try to be the coach and should not interfere, insisting everyone has their role.

Francesca has been in Spain for the last three years now, where she trains with a professional club and her mother visits as frequently as possible to help her out “just by being there”.

“Francesca is now mature enough to make clearer choices in the knowledge of the sacrifices involved,” she said.

“I am constantly asking her if she is still up for it… and she clearly wants to persevere in her goals.”

The ball is now firmly in her court.