The divorce debate (2)

Before exploring the arguments put forward by those who advocate divorce and those who oppose, it is worthwhile to reiterate some points on which there seems to be consensus:

(a) Marriage breakdown is not something which happens overnight but it is a rather long process which may take months or even years. The path leading to it is paved with big and small incidents, such as lack of communication between the couple, jealousy, infidelity, breaches of marital promises and misunderstandings.

(b) The breakdown of marriage is never a happy event. Indeed, it may cause indelible trauma for the children and, perhaps, even for the spouses. Therefore, no stone should be left unturned to avert this sad event.

(c) A good deal of research into the causes of marital breakdown seems to be badly needed in modern society in order to foster happier homes.

(d) The challenges of family life prompt a heightened appreciation of the value of a more thorough preparation for marriage. In fact, one of the fundamental causes of the weakness and of the decay of marriage in our generation is the lack of preparation in the founding of the family itself and a failure to understand the sacrifices involved.

(e) Most marriages start out on a solid footing. But after the honeymoon comes the more difficult process of learning to live together. The success of the process is affected by internal factors, such as goodwill and mutual understanding, as well as external factors such as the influence of parents, friends, as well as the prevailing mentality and laws in a country.

Rather than getting into the biblical teaching on the stability and perpetuity of marriage, I prefer for the sake of this article to consider the matter from the standpoint of natural morality alone, a limitation, I admit, that makes my argument incomplete but which, hopefully, makes it accessible to a wider audience. Even from this restricted viewpoint, the arguments against divorce are various and cogent and may be summarised as follows:

(a) The great evils of divorce are very evident in modern society and the destructive effects of civil divorce in other countries should be a warning to us. Countless homes have been destroyed and millions of lives wrecked because of the lax attitude of some governments towards the perpetuity of the marriage bond. The family, understood as the fundamental cell of a healthy and stable society, is undermined by the introduction of civil divorce. On the strength of the experience of other countries, it is not so difficult to predict the dire consequences of introducing divorce here: it will surely change both the structure and impact of the family. All marriages, not just fragile ones, would be at risk. After all, no marriage starts off as fragile.

(b) Indissolubility, which means that the marriage bond cannot be dissolved either by the spouses or by any human authority, is demanded by the very nature of marriage. It is required both by the personal and total donation of the spouses to each other as well as by the good of their offspring. Moreover, sincere and generous love is not conditional and does not admit any reservations. Thus, the love that should characterise every marriage is tarnished by any thought of a possible divorce in the minds of the couple. True love between married partners requires that marriage lasts until death. And the proper upbringing of children becomes almost impossible if the couple separate and form new unions.

(c) Marriage, even one that is not celebrated in Church, is a definitive act, with a solemn promise, made by the contracting parties not only in their own conscience but also before God and in front of society which imposes on them a binding obligation for life. Marriage is a free act in its origins but once it becomes ratified and consummate - to use the term of jurists - it no longer depends on the will of those entering into the contract. It is, now, a public and definitive act.

Mgr Cauchi is the Bishop of Gozo.

In the third and final instalment tomorrow: The introduction of civil divorce would be the warning sign of an extremely perilous turning point by Maltese legislators...