For many men and women of my generation, coming out as gay was still very hard and, in many cases, traumatic. I have heard countless stories of boys as young as six or seven being singled out by their peers and bullied mercilessly because they were perceived to be different. I have sat through various accounts of grown men telling me that they still have nightmares about the taunts they received; taunts which left them confused, ashamed and unable to feel like they had a place in the world.
All these things are horrible and debilitating enough to the human spirit, but when the hate and homophobia come from inside the house, from your own family, the one place which should truly be safe, that’s where the most damage is done.
This week, I read an article which chilled me to the bone. A 65-year-old man was sentenced to imprisonment for taking his seven-year-old, prepubescent son to prostitutes because “he did not want him to grow up gay” like another two of his family members. This horrific situation would have gone completely under the radar if it weren’t for the fact that prostitutes reported the man to the authorities.
The boy, who is now 12, was not only threatened with being institutionalised if he spoke up, but the man would lash his child’s back with an electrical cord when he would not be able to perform and call him derogatory names. He got eight years of jail time, while his son must live with the trauma he has been meted out for the rest of his life.
This case, truly and disgustingly shocking as it is, shows yet another chink in the armour of the law when it comes to defending the vulnerable. Carry a few pills or grow a plant in your bedroom and the long hand of the law will descend on you inordinately like a bird of prey, but when it comes to people’s actual lives, we have alleged murderers running around on bail for years before anything is actually done. Perhaps the archaic belief that women and children were simply property to be bartered and used at will is more prevalent in our codes than we think.
People do not choose their sexuality, but you can and should choose how you treat them- Anna Marie Galea
Indeed, what are eight years next to the next 70 or so that this boy will have to live knowing what lengths his father was willing to go to in manifesting his homophobia? What good are laws at all if we are unable to protect those who need protection the most? How can we say we are one of the most gay-friendly countries in Europe when atrocities like this are still happening?
Instead of more empty, colourful billboards, what we need are more educated and informed campaigns aimed at every single stratum of society and harsher penalties for those who inflict distress, mental or otherwise, on people based on their sexuality. There is no place for such retrograde hatred in a civilised society. Our laws and educational system need to reflect that, and send the right messages.
People do not choose their sexuality, but you can and should choose how you treat them. Our message to abusers needs to be a strong and united one that, at the very least, aids in giving justice to the people they have hurt. It is only then that we will be sending the message that discrimination of any form will not be tolerated. It is only then that we will start moving towards giving people the peace they deserve.