The coronavirus pandemic has imposed severe strains on several of the foundations of modern life. It has exposed the limits of healthcare systems, on which the population depends so heavily for its physical and mental welfare. It has caused a collapse in consumption, which is the basis of economic prosperity. It has disrupted education, the requisite of a successful future for children.
It has also rocked quite a number of relationships to the core, according to both anecdotal and scientific evidence that has been reported by Times of Malta.
A few weeks ago, we ran a story about the substantial increase in couples seeking legal advice on separation. This was seemingly prompted by the forced proximity of the partial lockdown and its magnification of existing marital problems.
A whole range of factors may be involved, from domestic abuse and financial stresses to imbalance in the burdens of childcare and unwillingness to make personal sacrifices.
Through Times of Malta, a sex therapist has now appealed to couples who were doing fine before COVID-19, but have now decided to separate, to give their relationship a second chance.
Matthew Bartolo’s advice follows a survey carried out by the Sex Clinic that showed a decline in time spent being intimate during confinement, partly as a result of not having anyone to leave the children with and also because of heightened levels of anxiety coupled with lack of external outlets for that stress, as social activity on the island ground to a halt.
Often, such couples, instead of going straight to a lawyer, do not know who to turn to for support. Paid counselling services are on the rise but there is still stigma attached to seeking this type of help, and besides, some couples may not be able to afford it.
COVID-19 has had many deleterious effects on the normal functioning of societies and communities but it has also prompted action to address certain shortcomings, such as the decisive steps taken to strengthen Malta’s health system.
On a smaller scale perhaps, policy makers should consider doing the same for the nation’s relationships. After all, strong and stable couple bonds, and the stability of family life that this engenders, are the basis for a thriving society.
The importance of such an effort, we must add, is immaterial of whether these relationships are formed within or outside of marriage, and irrespective of sexual orientation. The debate on the need to have stronger relationships and more stable families, for the good of society, needs to be based on secular considerations, detaching itself from religious dogma. The first task would be to take a comprehensive snapshot of the state of relationships in this country. This would entail pulling together any existing research and commissioning new studies and surveys, as well as gathering information from diverse sources, such as the census, separation statistics, economic data and the views of professionals in the field such as family lawyers, therapists and social workers.
The next step would be to devise specific policies and provide increased funding for state, voluntary and even private initiatives tackling both prevention and treatment. In the long term, this investment would pay for itself through improvements in general wellbeing that would ultimately reduce spending on health and social services.
The government already has a wide range of social and family polices that range from adoption and parenting to alcoholism and poverty reduction. The strengthening of couple relationships deserves a place high up on this list.