Christmas. What a wonderful time of year. Joyous tunes of Christmas carols fill the streets, fairy lights twinkle… and stress levels soar.
I’m talking about the mounting pressure that I know many parents are feeling right now to get on with their work lives while fitting in the never-ending Christmas to-do list: sourcing costumes and props for concerts, the never-ending list of gifts to get for relatives, friends, teachers and extra-curricular teachers, van drivers, supervisors etc.
And of course, in the midst of all this, keeping up the Christmas magic by, for example, ensuring that the Elf on the Shelf cooperates and moves around the house creatively. Oh yes, and ensuring your child does not miss out on the great Christmas adventures, whether they are the pantomime, fairyland or Christmas markets.
And when you think you’ve nailed it and ticked all the boxes, a tinsel-wrapped curve ball comes flying your way. While I write this - driven by my personal experiences and the realisation that many of my friends and colleagues are feeling this way: overwhelmed by Christmas - I receive a message about the new waste collection schedule.
It rattles my mental balance. Something else to note down, to remember, to get right.
Meanwhile, WhatsApp chats go on overdrive with different chats of family, friends and school parents organising Christmas events, presents, Secret Santas.
It’s total mental overload.
The daily opening of the advent calendar becomes a ticking countdown within which to check every item on the list. Then there are other factors such as the expense of it all (the little bits and pieces add up) and, of course, finding a place to keep your children during the school holidays while you go to work. And then there is the underlying fear that this might be the last Christmas with certain loved ones, especially elderly or sick, so it “must be perfect”.
So basically, during this time of year, the daily pressures of juggling work and parenting explode. Anything extra, even something small added to your plate, feels like a giant disruption to the mentally mapped out survival strategy you would have devised for your day.
As I write this, I realise I sound like The Grinch. But anyone who knows me, knows that I love Christmas. I actually have an annual countdown with a friend where we text each other on the 25th of every month. Even a personal tragedy that happened to me on Christmas day did not wipe out my love for this festive season.
Could it be that it’s because this is the first Christmas after COVID in “the real world”? Could it be that we put too much pressure on ourselves to create the picture-perfect Christmas?
Did our parents feel this way when we were little? Have we complicated Christmas? Once there was Santa for who we simply had to leave out cookies and milk (and a carrot for the reindeer) on Christmas eve. Now there is Santa and the Elf that requires daily attention. Don’t get me wrong – the children’s reaction is magical. The hard work does pay off in that sense. The recipients of the gifts do deserve them.
Also, I am very aware that for many this is a lonely time of year and that for some parents – such as single parents or those struggling to make ends meet - the pressures must be magnified.
But we cannot ignore that this overwhelming feeling – shared by many - should not be what Christmas feels like. Yes, Christmas is a time for giving but we should not be giving every second of our day and mental energy at the expense of mental health and enjoying the season with the family.
As children we were taught: “it’s the thought that counts”. But the meaning of that expression has been turned on its head. Oh, the thinking is there – a lot of it! It’s draining… leaving little time and energy for the type of thoughts that really matter.