To kill a mockingbird

I would like to reply to the charge that some (?) Maltese get hysterical at the mention of the word gun.

Well, I am one who throws a wobbly at the mere mention of a gun but I'd rather live with a wobbly than try to extend/enhance or substitute my masculinity with a mere phallic symbol. The problem is that this is way beyond the understanding of men who handle guns with greater ease than they would chopsticks.

For the sake of God and his lovely feathered creations, invest in a pair of binoculars instead. It is possible to get some pretty nifty ones, not too cumbersome, that will double up as opera glasses for when you discover the theatre and its delights.

Take it from me, as you get older and hunting becomes physically unsustainable you'll find that tapping your arthritic toes to Verdi and, why not, Vivaldi, will sustain you.

Learning to appreciate the "humanities" will increase your reasoning power, the facility to exercise a conscience and you'll sleep more easily.