Dear newly-qualified teacher or Master in Teaching and Learning student,

When pondering what to write in this my last letter to you, I opted for survival hints when it comes to correction, as is correcting students (not their work). Since we do this constantly throughout the school day, it is worth your while to be resourceful, effective, and above all, avoid getting into a pickle.

When a student errs, your next action has to be to continue to educate. It is not a power struggle or a tit-for-tat. Nor should righteous indignation rule the day.

Punishments that lead nowhere are to be avoided: the aim is that the student learns something and improves.

A great lesson I learnt occurred when I lost my temper in a class of Form 4 students and demanded that the offender (that rude challenger to my authority, that lazy, good-for-nothing, that drain on my patience…) get ups and leaves the classroom. Well, he didn’t. He refused.

This had never happened to me before and I was flabbergasted. What should I do... what could I do? I had to think quickly because there were about 30 other adolescent boys looking at me in that ghastly silence that ensued.

Thank goodness something stopped me from yelling: “It’s either you or me in the classroom”, because I would have lost the round hands down.

Thank goodness I also did not follow my instinct and rush howling to the headmaster’s office which would have amused the bystanders.

Thank goodness I said and did nothing. For a moment at least.

When challenged, never escalate the confrontation

Then I quietly approached the student who was slouching in his chair, spoke quietly so that only he and I could hear, and told him we will resume our conversation during break either in the classroom or in the headmaster’s office.

After that, I turned on my heels and went back to delivering the lesson. The conflict was later resolved in the headmaster’s office, but resolved it was, and that is the important thing.

When challenged like that it is easy to take the offence personally and to fall into self-doubt. Look beyond. Recall how awkward (and probably obnoxious) you yourself were as a teenager. The student was probably reacting to a multitude of things that had already happened to him before I entered the classroom, but I was the one to bear the brunt. A good educator can deal with it.

When challenged, never escalate the confrontation, never resort to demeaning and offensive language, never indulge in emotional blackmail. Step back as gracefully as you can and regain control as soon as you can.

One last note: something extraordinary happens when the school year is about to end. The students have reached saturation point and the teachers are exhausted, so the meltdowns usually happen in the staff room or in the staff toilets.

The miracle is that when the new school year begins and you are faced with a batch of new and unfamiliar faces in your new class, you actually miss the rogues who had given you such a hard time just a few months before.

Be a good educator, my friend, and you will live a life worth living.

Adieu, Your mentor

(This is the last in a series of six articles that began on April 19.)

Mariella Vella is head, De La Salle College primary school