Twin peeks

My friend Sylvia is one of those uniquely generous people who not only give you their heart and the sleeve upon which they habitually wear it, but also a bag to put both in.

I say this not because last Friday week she treated us all to her retirement (as if!) bash at the Hilton, but because she decided that rather than a present for herself, she wanted a donation towards her favourite charity... and hinted at the need for voluntariat there, and elsewhere, too.

Evidently, those whose Day Job is the Media (my capitals) may also see it as an opportunity to be generous with their time and talents - however, as someone on the periphery of it all, I understand that it gets boring when people call you in the middle of a meal to suggest what you ought to do, or say, when it is obvious that they have a finger in a particular pie.

It is disgusting, for instance, to keep hearing guests tell callers that theirs is a particularly pernicious problem, which cannot be solved there and then, i.e. on air. The implication is that professional advice - preferably theirs - must be sought. Just like the drug dealer who had stuff that was evidently not ghall-uzu esklusiv tieghu biss, in fact.

Some radio and television stations would not be where they are without the support of volunteers - and when this happens, it is painful to see how some unpaid people are snubbed, whereas others are advised of job vacancies patently tailored to their qualifications, since they would be in a propitious position when the experience necessary clause came up.

Be that as it may, the whisper is that, again, the dreaded word reorganisation has been transmogrified into layoffs - ironically, at Rainbow Productions, where the socialist ideal is supposed to be supreme.

For most of my life - well, half of it, actually - I have been waiting for Pink Floyd to get together again. But as far as TVM was concerned, Saturday last's Live 8 was almost a non-event. No-one expected them to broadcast the whole concert - one could tune in to Smash or to BBC, if available, for that - however, strict adherence to schedules meant that we got Rossini's Mosé, which, definitely, would have held a little more than it already has, both historically and operatically. But it was music, nonetheless, as purists would argue...and to take this lack of logic even further, there was the tribute band concert to enjoy just recently.

An even worse bungle was to follow.

Whereas, last Thursday, the majority of foreign television and radio stations cut off programmes practically in mid-sentence to bring audiences breaking news of the explosions in the London Underground and aboard route buses, TVM did not link up to any of the aforementioned stations to screen live footage of the disaster; it went on with scheduled (including repeats, which were therefore not indispensable).

More than two hours after the fracas occurred, in the 12 p.m. news bulletins, that Radju Malta and TVM relayed a news item within the usual bulletin. This is just not good enough.

Many people have been complaining that the exigencies of the service demand that Sunday Mass goes out from the same chapel, week after week, with cameras sometimes panning empty benches.

One may safely assume that the Station of the Nation has an Outside Broadcasting Unit, which may be trundled off to a different place every week - and then not necessarily one where the rhetoric in the sermon, or the hip-ness of the celebration, draws the multitudes. As it is, we are weekly reminded of the journeys of the Eurovision team to and from the Ukraine, before and after their sojourn there... the state has facilities that are not used to their best effect.

Meanwhile, Media.Link and Rainbow Productions tattle on about the "fisticuffs" in their rivals' ranks (avversarji, as a couple of self-styled pundits had it this week), and PBS remains fearful of being tarred with the same brush and errs on the side of caution.

Station bosses, however, did join forces in their attack on the Malta Communications Authority when it decided to grant a digital terrestrial licence to Maltacom and Multiplus, while turning down their request for a free-to-air digital frequency.

What does this really mean? We pay a licence - and, "for free", we also receive several foreign stations. If we did not pay this licence, would a set be blocked for these foreign stations, or would we only be precluded from watching PBS?

Meanwhile, it is indeed a pity that during the 6.30a.m. Rosary Recitation on Bastjanizi FM, Radio 101 is often discernable in the background-and I live closer to the source of the former than the latter, whereas on the tuning band, several other stations separate them. Cannot something be done about this?

Why did the chicken cross the street/Internet/playground? To get to the other side/site/slide. Why does John have a cosy diner à deux with Sandra? Simply so that he can report back to Tanya on the wonderful new tiles she'd bought from Bathroom Design.

This is CNN... a phrase which starts off an advertisement for Go Mobile. Ironically, subscribers to this service have even more instant news being thrown at them - but the headlines of this newspaper, undoubtedly the major one in the Republic, are never featured in the Euronews roundup on TVM. Are we a part of Europe, or are we not?

One might, of course, say the same thing when it comes to the cultural activities advertised on the bulletin board; local ones are never included. Are we supposed to be satisfied, then, that Valletta features for a split second in the comprehensive weather map, which also features non-EU countries? Which entity will get its PRO on the job?

Peppering the vernacular with foreign, usually English, words is supposed to make one appear more erudite. Alas, it sometimes has the opposite effect. It is the Americans, and the Scots, who use presently in the sense of 'right now'; to the British the word means "in a little while", when they use it, so "presently ghandna" makes no sense at all. Double fault.