Valentine’s Day relationship advice for four different stages of love

Valentine’s Day may be wrapped in flowers and fine dining, but relationship experts say lasting love depends on something far less glamorous: communication, clarity and consistent effort.

As February 14 reignites the annual debate, romantic tradition or commercial spectacle, Times of Malta asked four professionals who deal with relationships daily what advice they would offer couples at different stages of love.

Understand yourself

For those looking for love, self-awareness comes first. Hilde Watty, managing director of Berkeley International Malta and a matchmaker at the global agency, said people often focus on finding the “right” partner without understanding themselves.

“Remember that your partner goes home to your heart.” She continued, “You need to ask yourself: what do you believe in? What are your values? Clarity with oneself is ultimately power.”

She said looking inward can help people make better long-term choices.

Watty added that her advice to female clients can differ slightly. “We are all in this crazy rat race, and our society has pushed women to be in their masculine energy.”

“Remember to come back to your heart and do not let your head cloud that.”

Watty is also the author of the book, How to FIND and KEEP Lifelong LOVE.

Learn to communicate

Once in a relationship, communication becomes the central pillar.

Christopher Demicoli, executive director of the Cana Movement in Malta, said couples must prioritise meaningful dialogue rather than assume connection will sustain itself.

“Quality communication is key; without that, a relationship is nothing,” he said, explaining that communication involves planning together and building a shared future with communication as its foundation.

Anna Catania, a warranted counsellor and qualified psychosexual and relationship therapist, agreed, warning that modern life can create the illusion of connection.

“Have the hard conversations,” said Catania. “We communicate more than ever, but are our conversations actually better?” she asked, referring to the influence of technology.

Put that phone away

“Put down the device and really talk to one another.” She continued, “Take the time.” She said this advice applies to romantic relationships, family ties and friendships alike.

Catania also addressed intimacy, noting that a healthy sex life requires intentional effort. “Showing interest in your partner is important, and taking the time to have sex is very important.”

She recommended keeping phones out of the bedroom.

Avoid the routine trap

From a legal perspective, family lawyer Roberta Bonello Felice said strong relationships are built on trust and emotional security, qualities that often determine whether couples endure difficult periods.

“Your partner should feel like your safest place and your best friend. But most importantly, no matter how many years pass, never take each other for granted.” She continued, “Love should never become routine. Make the person you’re with feel valued and cherished, just like you did in the very beginning.”

Whether marked with grand gestures or quietly ignored, Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder that relationships are not sustained by romance alone, but by daily choices made long after February 14 has passed.