In a world where we are constantly looking for ways to minimise stress, spark joy and restore calm, I think we might all agree that unruly children – possibly even the mere sight of a pushchair – can be instant triggers of stress and anxiety. 

Recall those reproachful and disapproving glances when your child ‘misbehaved’ in public?

Some things were beyond your (and their) control, of course, like ear pain in a pressurised cabin. And, yes, there are places, such as supermarkets, where a bit of noise doesn’t matter either way. Let’s face it, nobody goes there to relax.

The same is even more true of fast-food joints and all those other places, like parks and playgrounds, where children are sovereign, boisterous and vocal and where you shouldn’t need to apologise. 

We live in a very child-centric society. Children these days are definitely both seen and heard and places for them are not in short supply. All well and good. But, surely, we can make room for child-free areas or even child-free hours?

You see, I know a gazillion restaurants where children are welcome but, until recently, could not name a single one where they are not. Until I read about Bohini, a cafe/bistro in Mġarr, which decided to ban all customers under the age of 18.

A controversial move, for sure, but one which the establishment believes will create a “peaceful and tranquil” ambience.

I’m inclined to agree. So, thank you, Bohini. Just make sure you don’t now ruin the peace and quiet with inappropriately loud music (or, indeed, any music at all). 

There was, of course, backlash from patrons with children, who wrote off the restaurant and vowed never to return. That is their prerogative. And it’s good riddance from me.

Frankly, we need more restaurants as bold as Bohini. And while 18 might appear draconian and a bit excessive, I happen to think it’s much fairer that way. Because a ban on children under 12 would really have been far more discriminatory. This way, the ban is universal and the venue neatly becomes ‘adults only’.

There’s also another consideration.

Between the ages of 13 and 18, children are often unsupervised and can be loud and obnoxious when they are out in groups. They are also notorious for hogging tables for hours on end in order to benefit from ‘free Wifi’ and nothing else.

The principal argument against child-free restaurants is that some parents can’t afford babysitting. I have always found this to be a very self-serving excuse.

And it’s not that convincing either, given that we live in Malta where help is never far away. But even if it were true, it still doesn’t justify taking children to a restaurant at 9pm and ruining the experience for other patrons, who may themselves have paid for babysitting.

Peace and quiet is a very rare and underestimated commodity- Michela Spiteri

Being lumped with someone else’s progeny sounds to me like a raw deal.

And, children or no children, don’t they have a right to a peaceful adult dining experience? Children screaming or whizzing all over the place are hardly conducive.   

I speak from recent experience. Two experiences actually, on the same day.

The first was in Ġnejna on an idyllic Saturday morning in early October when the beach was pretty much empty and you could count everyone there.

We had arrived early and, for the first hour, it was perfect: a mother (foreign) with her inaudible baby; a couple of guys (Maltese) doing sit ups on the sand who were equally unobtrusive; and a few bathers who were just soaking up the sun and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Until, that is, two Maltese women turned up with their children and it was game over. All you could hear was these children shouting and screaming. The worst part was they were never told to keep quiet, not once, not even a half-baked “shush” and a token attempt at control. And that’s the part that really got my back up – the insouciance of these women and their total disregard for everyone else.

You can’t really blame seven- (or nine)-year-old children for getting carried away at the beach but you can definitely blame the adults.     

We left the beach soon after and decided to make up for it by booking a nice restaurant for supper. When you pay between €120 and €150 for dinner, you are also paying for ambiance. Which means that walking into a restaurant and seeing two pushchairs and three children running around is just not on. 

Had we cooked a steak at home and opened a bottle of wine, the experience would have been far more relaxing. And that’s what restaurants need to bear in mind – that ‘home’ can be a very viable alternative and that they just can’t afford to lose patrons by default.

I won’t be returning to the restaurant. 

Peace and quiet is a very rare and underestimated commodity. Restaurants need to cultivate it, especially here in Malta, where noise is the order of the day.

At the end of a long week, when children should be fast asleep in bed, it’s OK not to want to have to deal with them. They grow up soon enough and will then have plenty of time to go to restaurants.

I distinctly remember the late 1970s and 1980s when we were members at the Marsa Club. There was a sign prohibiting those under 16 from entering the bar (and, at the age of eight, 16 felt like light years away). There was strict enforcement and we children, I recall, would stand on tiptoes and peer into the hazy, smoke-filled room hoping to attract our parents’ attention.

There was something intriguing about it all and a good feeling too of delayed gratification (like having to wait to pierce your ears).

So, what happened to ‘growing up’?

Perhaps we have taken away that rite of passage? 

Perhaps it’s time to rediscover one relic at least of the Victorian era.