At his lowest point, Joe* was so desperate for a fix that he resorted to licking shoe cleaner – a descent into addiction that began in prison and consumed three decades of his life.

Now in his mid-50s, he says he has finally “seen the light” and is free from the drugs that he says controlled him for so long.

“A monster controlled me. I was told what to do by drugs, and then by prison guards. I’d had enough. As I grew older, something just clicked. I wanted to take control of my own life,” he says.

Joe is one of many people who found a second chance through Mid-Dlam Għad Dawl (MDD), an NGO celebrating 30 years of helping people reintegrate into society after leaving prison. 

The foundation’s name translates to ‘From Darkness to Light’ and Joe says he fully understands that concept.  

“I was in a dark pit, and now I’m walking in the light,” he said. 

The foundation was founded on April 10, 1995, to support incarcerated people, those reintegrating into society, and their families through various targeted programmes.

Joe first entered the Corradino Correctional Facility in 1994, in his mid-20s. And it was inside prison that his addiction took hold. He began using glue, shoe cleaner, heroin and eventually cocaine. Over the next three decades, he was in and out of prison 15 times. 

“People might not realise that with drugs, there’s no such thing as just using occasionally,” he said. “It grows on you, little by little, until it completely takes over your mind. All you can think about is getting more. When I was on drugs, I was a different person. All I cared about was drugs – even if it meant breaking into cars or stealing to get more. A monster takes over you.”

Throughout his years of addiction and crime, Joe married and became a father. His family stuck by him, though some friends walked away. 

“That’s one of my biggest regrets – hurting my family, my wife,” he says. 

“I missed out on seeing my child grow up. Even when I was there, I wasn’t really present,” he says.

His family is the reason he asked to stay anonymous for this interview, concerned that any attention could hurt them further. 

Joe’s turning point began slowly in 2017 when he was sentenced to two years in prison. At that time, there was a shift in prison management, and access to drugs was cut off, and he realised he could live without drugs. 

He left prison in 2019 and has stayed clean since, even after being incarcerated again in early 2023 for a crime he committed over 10 years earlier.

“Maybe it was because I grew older. Maybe because I was ashamed of not having learned or changed at my age. But something inside me changed. I told myself: ‘This is the last time.’ I wanted to take something positive from all that was lost,” he reflects.

While in jail, Joe took a different approach and didn’t cause trouble. Instead, he asked to learn and to help. He was entrusted with tasks like cleaning up after inmates and later expanded to maintenance work in his division.

After 11 months, he was sent to a residential programme at MDD, where he spent the final months of his sentence.

“It was like being in a new home. At first, I couldn’t believe I was no longer in prison. I didn’t want to lose their trust. The people were amazing. They showed me love. I followed instructions, which was something I’d struggled with in the past. I’d go on the roof, hear people talking, and hear traffic nearby. I started learning a lot of things.”

MDD eased him into the real world, unlike past releases where he was suddenly thrown into a fast-paced, overwhelming world he didn’t know how to navigate.

I missed out on seeing my child grow up. Even when I was there, I wasn’t really present. Here at MDD, they expose you gradually. When you take it in slowly, you appreciate it. You’re prepared

“When the day comes to leave prison, they just push you out. You walk around, and before long, you’re back to your old ways. You see the big world, and it’s not easy. You give up – no one will employ you. In the first weeks, I got migraines from the exhaust fumes. But here at MDD, they expose you gradually. When you take it in slowly, you appreciate it. You’re prepared.”

Now, Joe is doing well. He’s living with his family and working full-time as a plasterer.

“I spent 30 years of my life being controlled – by the police, drugs, other people. I don’t want anyone telling me what to do anymore. I’m a man like other men, and I want to live a free life. I’ve learned that when you want something, you work for it.

"When you just take something, you don’t appreciate it. I’m lucky to be alive. Many people who used with me are dead today. I was given a chance to emerge into the light.”

*Name has been changed