"How can I look as stunning and glamorous as you," one reader asks Za Za La Bouche.

And that sets the panto dame off on a complex - but enlightening - answer involving mud packs, one creative make-up artist and a very confused proctologist. 

This year, with panto failing to tread the stage, panto maestro Alan Montanaro has bridged the gap and transported his Christmas stage jokes to Times of Malta. 

If you missed the hilarious first episode, watch it here. 

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