Imagine Moses climbing to the very top of the obscene Tumas-Gasan towers at Mrieħel. His task is to revisit the 10 commandments. Instead of stone tablets, he uses an electronic tablet to write on.
Given the secularisation of this cosmopolitan nation, Moses, instead of getting orders from a heavily bearded Lord dictating the Decalogue, tries to get inspiration from different sectors of the Maltese population.
What conflicting messages would he be bombarded with?
What follows is based on notes taken during the consultation process indulged in by Moses.
‘Thou shalt not criticise government’
This was the heartfelt desire of the Commissioner for NGOs. He has already decreed that if Repubblika dares to keep on criticising our benevolent government, they would be banished from the Garden of Eden (aka Register of NGOs). Criticism is a forbidden fruit and those who taste it do so at their own peril, was the North Korea style of reasoning.
Thus, banished, they would not be able to apply for several funds and would not be able to fundraise. And as we say in Maltese: “Bla flus la tgħannaq u l-anqas tbus u l-anqas tmexxi NGO.”
Serves them right, doesn’t it, considering that these Repubblika people are arrogant snobs, was the comment of one who always concludes his Facebook post by writing “40 elf”.
Moses was familiar with this type of talk as he used to hear a lot such reasoning at Pharaoh’s court. Back then, it was assumed that criticising the Pharaoh was an offence punishable by death.
It seems, said he, that now criticising the Pharaoh is an offence punishable by siphoning off the possibility of having enough money to exist.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
Thou shalt not meddle with the constitution
The proponents of this commandment include a former judge of the European Court, a former judge of the European Court of Human Rights, two constitutional experts and the Chamber of Advocates.
They were irked big time, so much so that Moses was taken aback. Their argument was as simple as its implications were despicable. Justice Minister Edward Zammit Lewis wanted to amend the constitution to limit the right to a fair hearing and deprive the ordinary citizen from the protection of a court of law in criminal proceedings.
The imposition of fines running into tens of thousands of euros will be in the hands of government stooges, not the courts- Fr Joe Borg
The Nationalist Party did not play ball and Zammit Lewis did not get the needed two-thirds. The minister was not amused. He bounced back by a new bill needing only a simple majority. The imposition of fines running into tens of thousands of euros will be in the hands of government stooges, not the courts, if the minister gets his way.
It seems that Zammit Lewis is eager to go down in history as the first minister of justice to have reduced the number of the basic rights citizens enjoy. He wants to have the right to change the meaning of words in the constitution, thus undermining its supremacy.
A feeling of déjà vu swept through the hall of one of the Fenech-Gasan towers where Moses was holding his consultation. When the Labour government wanted to change the constitution in the mid-1970s, it did not have the required two-thirds majority. It then resorted to a stratagem similar to the one it wants to adopt today. It wanted to change
Article 6 by a simple majority and then make mincemeat from the rest of the constitution. Moses, the lawgiver, was now getting annoyed.
Thou shalt not plan doing business with those you regulate
This seemed to be a no-brainer. Such as water does not mix with oil, so do regulators do not mix with the regulated. Wasn’t it obvious that this is a no-no, said he who condemned for stoning many who did paltry things compared to this. His line of reasoning was resisted by the former legal consultant of the former disgraced prime minister.
“If a regulator does business with a person whom he regulates, that’s not on”, said the former legal consultant. “But if a regulator is so enthusiastic on doing business, so much so that he plans the business endeavour with whom he regulates, then that is acceptable.”
“Even if his expressed wish is frustrated by something that does not depend on him?”, was the retort.
“Yes”, said the former legal consultant of the former disgraced prime minister. “Besides”, he continued unashamedly “there was a general mentality that such things could be done. Earning an extra lira għall-familja is a Christian obligation.”
The former legal advisor totally absolved Johann the regulator who wanted to do business with Yorgen, the alleged mastermind of an assassination and the mastermind behind the towers in an area where there should have been no towers.
Moses was baffled. He thought that civilisation had moved forward not backwards since his years-long meandering in the desert. He was already miffed that he was tricked into being housed in a scandalous tower but listening to all this drivel was too much to stomach.
“These people adore the Golden Calf just as my people did,” said he in utter disgust while smashing his electronic tablet on the head of a person that we better not name.