Why I signed the social media petition

I’ve seen it in their eyes – that helpless look. I’m talking about the eyes of parents whose teens have been impacted by the darker side of social media.

There was one mother – a widow – whose son was bullied at school. Peers tormented him through a group chat and even made a video encouraging him to “go meet his father”. That story never went public due to legal and psychological concerns but it’s stayed with me.

Another parent told me how her teen attempted suicide. Later, scrolling through the teen’s social media, she discovered “the inspiration”. I still remember the way our eyes locked as she recounted it – the desperation, the fear, the guilt.

Then, there are countless conversations with friends who say they “lost their teenager” after giving them a phone.

Kids who no longer leave their rooms or spend time with family, unless the phone comes too.

Every time I look into the eyes of these parents, I feel their worry. I suspect they see mine, too. Worry for the future. Fear for the day my own child reaches that age. Will I be able to protect her from a world I don’t fully understand?

Already, I see how easily she could be drawn in. For now, it’s innocent videos – content I can still control. But it will change.

I also know, through experience, how quickly emotions can shift when scrolling through social media. One minute you’re laughing, the next, you feel inadequate or envious or insecure.

I can only imagine how much harder it is for a vulnerable teen. Adolescence is already a time of self-doubt, fragile identity and intense pressure, especially around body image.

We’ve been there. But we dealt with the real world, where imperfections were visible and life was lived, not filtered. The pressure on them is higher and so are the risks.

I know I’m not alone in this fear. It’s backed by research: The Health Behaviour in School-aged Children survey found that nearly one in four Maltese adolescents aged 11, 13 and 15 show an addictive pattern of social media use, with girls especially affected. Natasha Azzopardi Muscat, WHO Europe’s director for Country Health Policies and Systems, has called for a national debate on regulating children’s social media use.

While no official discussion has begun, San Anton School launched an initiative (open to everyone) asking parents to pledge that they are interested in – not committed to – delaying children’s access to smartphones and social media and urging lawmakers to make social media safer. More recently, WHO Europe urged countries to take action.

Let me be clear: I understand social media has positives. The same tool can build or break.

The good side can be managed through digital literacy and education. But the dark side – the part that leads to bullying, self-loathing and dangerous content – truly worries me.

And it’s not as simple as just saying no. The mind goes in circles.

Many parents fear socially isolating their kids – which is equally damaging – more than they fear social media. Peer pressure is real – not just for kids but for parents too.

I also know how quickly emotions can shift when scrolling through social media

But, then, my mind spins again: Isn’t drawing the line part of parenting? Isn’t saying “no” part of the job? Yes, it is. But is that enough?

When I first heard about the San Anton pledge, I hesitated for all these reasons. How could I commit without knowing where we’ll be in a few years? But after reading it and talking to other parents, I saw its power – joining a movement of pro-childhood parents calling on lawmakers to implement stronger safeguards.

What has to be stressed is that the pledge isn’t about phones in general. It’s about smartphones as 24/7 portals to social media.

It’s also not a call for a blanket ban or judgement on parents who’ve already given their kids phones – I can think of many reasons why parents would.

This is about balance. But giving kids a smartphone, with no controls or limits, too early risks tipping that balance in the wrong direction – especially in a world where, realistically speaking, many parents don’t have the know-how and time to control.

Another mind flip: At the same time, I know I’ll probably want my daughter to have a phone when she starts going out alone, “just in case”. Our parents didn’t do that but Malta was a different place then.

It’s confusing. I don’t have the answers. But I do know the risks are too high to do nothing. That’s why parents need to come together. The more of us who speak up about our worries – the more real it becomes and the louder our voice.

And that’s the point. This is how real change begins. Change into a world in which teens are not all glued to phones.

The government says it’s open to the conversation of regulating social media. But, as a journalist, I know nothing moves without pressure. Too often, it takes something drastic – even tragic – to drive change. Just look at the case of Jean Paul Sofia.

Should the government solve this alone? Of course not. But other countries’ governments are trying to be part of the solution. So can ours.

The first step is showing our policymakers that we believe this is important and deserves national attention – in the name of the mental health, the happiness, of our children.

This I am certainly interested in. That’s why I signed the San Anton pledge.

Claudia Calleja is a journalist at Times of Malta.