Education and a healthy development in early childhood pave the way for lifelong health, strong relationships and communities and a gender-equal society. It is about tackling the roots rather than the symptoms. Education remains key towards a gender-equal
society in which both men and women, as equal members, have the opportunity to participate in all kinds of social activities at will, equally enjoy political, economical and cultural benefits and share responsibilities.
In such a society, the human rights of men and women are equally respected. Women who desire an active role in society may participate in activities of their own choosing while men could enjoy a fulfilling home and community life. A gender-equal society is a society built by men and women as equal partners.
Stereotypes hinder the achievement of a gender-equal society. These are often unreflectively or automatically perpetuated, such that people are socialised into their prescriptions, caught up in oppressive moulds that appear to be set in stone. We need to invest in a critical pedagogy that consciously invites our young (and old) to deconstruct taken-for-granted beliefs about people and their lives and to challenge what is presented as common sense.
In reality, contentions relating to meaning are associated with revolutionary struggles against domination and control and to efforts made to insure compliance. Schools, churches, governments and families have historically indoctrinated populations of people with the common sense understanding of the dominant system of rule. In our times, we can see this struggle in the contestations over the meaning of gender, race, sexuality, nationality, resistance and family.
In many ways we are all products of our contemporary common sense, which constitutes the structures that have shaped and continue to shape us throughout our lives. It is up to us to use our agency to change oppressive structures and create a better world for our children, a world that will respect their human rights. Today, stories of women (and men too) who are oppressed by dominant discourses and stereotypes continue to unfold all around us, even if we may not always see them because of our social positioning or our lack of awareness.
We need to educate our children if we want them to live a more fulfilled life.
Human cultural conditioning begins even before birth. One study found that when pregnant women were informed of the sex of the baby they were carrying, they started describing the baby’s movement in their womb according to whether it was a girl or a boy – “quiet”, “very gentle, more rolling than kicking” if it was a girl and “very vigorous movements”, “kicks and punches”, “a saga of earthquakes” if it was a boy. If unquestioned, the reign of ‘common sense’ continues from birth onwards, affecting children’s upbringing and adult life.
Education remains key towards a gender-equal society- Audrey Friggieri
As parents, teachers and leaders, our example is essential in educating our young for a gender-equal society. For example, we have to eliminate from our vocabulary the ubiquitous ‘boys will be boys’. This is really a common excuse for boys’ poor behaviour, a way to rationalise unhealthy reactions to the world around them. When we say this, boys learn that they are not only above the rules but that boys can’t control themselves, which is nonsense.
The biggest problem with this phrase is that it sticks with them as they grow up and begin looking at women sexually. As parents and guardians, we cannot be shocked that boys feel entitled to sexually harass others when we’ve been telling them their whole lives that they are above the rules by virtue of being boys.
“He only does that because he likes you” is something we should never say when our kids are being teased or hurt. We’re teaching our children that it’s okay to hurt others and that attraction and affection are associated with suffering. This helps set the scene for violence later on in life and teaches boys that their desires matter more than the girl they ‘like’.
As responsible adults we have to stop shaming victims. If our children hear us excusing rape or sexual assault in any way, such as “What was she wearing?”, “She was asking for it”, “Why was she out so late” (etc)... they will internalise that message.
We need to teach our boys and girls that both women and men are responsible for housework and for caring for each other in the family and that cooking, cleaning and shopping are valuable life skills that everybody should have. Children become what they see and, if there isn’t an equal division of labour in the home, that will become normal for them.
There is no ‘natural’ way to be human. Ascribing genetic and biological bases for our actions is very dangerous. It will oppress individuals and groups because they will not be given equal opportunities in life. For example, it is indeed very convenient to believe that the poor are undeserving, morally weak or stupid, rather than casualties of a deeply unfair systemic bias. Equally, it’s much more appealing to consider personal successes as down to some sort of innate brilliance rather than luck and social position.
If we subscribe to the idea that there is a natural or a ‘right’ way to be a human being, then we choose to ignore myriad ways of being, thinking and feeling and, instead, oppress those whose life choices are no less legitimate than ours. Indeed, many norms that were once held to be god-given have been changed by societies, sometimes in a short time. If we invented it, then we can change it.
Audrey Friggieri, commissioner for gender-based and domestic violence.